Sad Facts, Not Fucks

New year is coming guys! And is there any invitations to countdown parties? Perhaps one of you can throw one for the writers? Today, I’ve been wanting to talk about something that guys shamelessly would do and how would I sound if I were to give it a try.

We have seen and heard a lot of appearances of advertisements that guys often make themselves sound yummy so that girls would be tempted. It’s not that we don’t know what do girls want, but we imagine those guys to think themselves of being a product.

8.5 inches. Lean. Fit. DD Free. Drive.

A few simple words. And it would move someone’s hormones. WRONG. To me (I AM a guy btw), 8.5 inches sounds like pain. Lean sounds like pain (lack of padding). Fit sounds like you can go many rounds without giving a fuck if she had cummed. And drive! We all have the drive don’t we? You can blame my average sized penis for being jealous, or my abs protected with fats tummy. Truth is, we are just denying the girls what they want to hear, and making a human body sounds like beef at a butcher stall.

Here, I shall attempt to create an advertisement for myself, of course, would be saddening and noobish compared to the experienced posters.

5.5 inches (to 0.5 inches accuracy). Average body with a tad of fat. Proven comfy to lie on and provides cushioning for back end positions. No longer fit due to life of luxury. Stamina will be subjected to your appearance and skills. No owned rides, to do my part for the environment. I don’t have a big dick to make you go crazy, I don’t have long lasting erection to pound you tired. I only have patience, time and attention to make you feel like a woman. Applicable to unmarried, open minded girls who would dare to step on the line of morality on a soft, fluffy bed.

It’s long, boring, and unattractive. No big tool, no ride, no Duracell grade stamina, no abs. It’s like offering a puppy to a little girl. And exactly! Why would the girl turn down the puppy? She will have to take care of it, walk it, play with it and even adapt to it. You wouldn’t want to offer a hound, smart and protective. What? So she can ride on it? And get pulled by it on a wagon? And die before her from old age? No way.

We know we make wrong decisions all the time, sometimes filled with guilt that take too much time to fade, wishing you had not made that wrong move. So why the hurry and not write more? Mine is vague, missing details and lack fancy strong words.

Guys, when you are looking for sex, especially for the free ones, please put in more effort and tell the girls about you, not describe what they can see from your picture that you are going to attach anyway. If they are interested, they might not compare that mental image of your tool with other bigger guys, so don’t scare them away with too much info.

Girls are not stupid. They might just deserve more than you. Have a great new year guys!

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