At times, we wish to immortalise the intimate moments with our loved ones, and it isn’t practical to hire a production company to make that 20 minutes plus clip with Red-Camera level gears. While the ‘permission to film’ has been cleared, it is now up to the convenience, portability and simplicity of film processing to make such an activity fun and sustainable.
J has his own private collection, but during the course of making them, he had spent quite a bit on getting the gears right. Yupp. The whole jizz is to get the gears right, not just the right gears.
While Spielberg and Michael Bay has tons of camera knowledge, there are only two methods to ‘frame’ in consensual film making. First, it’s the type that I do NOT recommend at all. It’s the well-known ‘FPV – First Person View’. You do not have 99-axis camera stabilisers, you do not have aperture 0.8 lens, and you do not have surgical-grade hands.
Shaky videos that makes you regret, jerking motion that makes you giddy, face-no-face scenes that makes you wonder about your existence. Heck, you aren’t even tempted to watch them again. We are amateur film makers, and it’s time to admit that.
Second, called ‘FPOV – Fixed Point-of-View’ (with the Ohh). You go behind the camera for a few seconds, angle it right, and then start your foreplay. It cuts out the disturbing handshakes and wobbly scenes. Though it might not capture any up-close image for your medical research, it is definitely presentable and non-intrusive to watch over and over again.
While the two types of cinematography is still done to this date, it is the gears that determine the ease of doing them. So, without further ado, let’s look at our options.
C’mon, let’s face it. If you are using a video-enable DSLR, you will be spending more time framing it than getting it on with your partner. Not only you are limiting your locations to just ‘in bed’, it is actually quite unnerving to have that huge lens right in your face.
I highly doubt the guys will be shy (since they are holding it), but the ladies! No one can perform naturally in front of JAV-style equipments. They certainly do not intend to become your porn stars, making it way harder to get in the mood.
Besides that, storage space. In 4k resolution, are you seriously going to have a NAS storage system set up just to hold a few video clips? Don’t you find the huge, black piece of camera a bother to set up, and it irks your eyes? What about battery life? Shutter life? Please ditch this idea.
3. Mobile Phones
While technology has been kind to us, the difference in quality from a mobile phone and a basic point-and-shoot still appeals to pixel enthusiasts. The ‘Ultra Wide Angle’ feature of your phone sounds awesome until you see cropped heads in your videos.
Not only it cannot stand on its own, your 100-people Whatsapp group chat IS going to shake your camera for you. Low light performance? Don’t tell me you are going to use the Sunlight-grade LED to ‘light up’ your night life. There’s no Meitu for videos.
One big concern is the battery life, which is even shorter than DSLR. Designed for calls and texting, the camera is only good for photos that you will apply heavy filters to. NOT videos!
Still, tons of people use their phones to record, and they have spent years refining their skills. If you want to use it, make sure you practice a lot. Don’t be the noob that is as confused as your phone when the time comes.
2. Point-and-Shoot (Compact cameras)
This is probably the second best camera you can use for your sexy clips. Decent resolution, made for mediocre video and photo taking, it IS still my most used item in the bedroom. Both FPV and FPOV works with point-and-shoots, giving you ok quality at the end of the day.
Don’t you just love how you can take photos while banging? Luckily, there are high-end cameras in this size, with DSLR technologies in them. Invest in one today.
1. Action Cam!
The latest introduction to my range of cameras (not just for erotic uses) is SJ4000 by SJCam. I bought it for under S$130, and it comes with underwater housing (bathtime!) and about 18 other add-ons. I have imported headmounts, lens protector, tripod mount adapters just for this camera.
The photo I took of the SJCam above is how I store it normally. No padded casing, no screen protectors (let’s just get past the dirty screen thingy). Just a lens protector, in a plastic, corner-frame, on a quick-release clip. I am currently waiting for a flat base mount/ adapter to put on my flexible tripod permanent.
Quality-wise, it’s like a vehicle dashcam, but ultra wide angle at 170 degrees. Video res can hit 1080FHD, but recommended to go for 720P. You’re not intending to play them on your living room screen right?
I know it looks like a pussy given it’s size and specs, but wait till you finish this whole paragraph. When I settled on SJCam, I want it to be portable and tiny. Small enough to get out of the way of my girl’s insecurities, but big enough to capture proper footage.
My main concern with storing such media is their file sizes. Camcorders, DSLRs, compact cameras, makes great videos, but I wouldn’t be able to store them easily without looking at external HDD. Then you’ll go ‘J! You know you can select a lower resolution under ‘Settings’?’ right?
With a flexible tripod, I can mount it anywhere. With the underwater housing, who knows what we might do in the bathtub? I just don’t want it to be an eyesore. She shouldn’t be worried about how she looks on camera, I’m the person she should be focusing on!
The Wifi version I got allows me to frame the shot through my phone (via an app), effectively turning it into a ‘on-and-forget’ recorder in the corner. Heck, she even helped angled it while I gave instructions. Teehee!
The main objective of making your own videos is to reminisce your most intimate moment with her. Not to be troubled by screen sizes, resolution (lower is acceptable), or missed shots. I admire a person as a whole, to the point the kisses we had, the in-face whispering (probably inaudible), the minor movements she makes when I enter her, are what makes my film erotic.
Wide angle captures our full bodies, fat or slim. Decent pictures remind us of each other, looking shag or not. Honestly, the ladies DO get wet looking at their own sex clips, and they can easily convince themselves to put on your sick costumes for memory’s sake (in front of a small camera).
While hidden cameras exist, it is NEVER ethical to film anyone without their permission. Doing it with mutual consent undo the normal restraints we have on ourselves, letting the playful side appear for the short clip. She might make you groan louder, make you struggle harder, ride you faster – just for you.
Things do get more intense with a camera around, but do not try to do it secretly. Your weird angles and unusual actions will give you away. You wouldn’t want to know what’s the sentence in Women’s Charter against your crimes.
Also, if you cannot keep data secure in your computer, your girls have the rights to reject you upfront. Phones, cameras, portable storage medias, they do require a level of responsibility if you are keeping your nudes in them. Bottomline? Don’t risk it, not even you can handle the consequences if they end up in the wrong hands.
Feel free to ask me anything about the cameras I mentioned above! I have functioning film cameras, DSLRs, compacts, phones, but just one Action Cam. Well, they are named ‘ActionCam’ for a reason right?