Eternal Secret

A confession by a girl, for her boyfriend of two year.

Baby, I’m sorry I can never tell you this except through here, on J’s blog. I have followed his site for a few years (even before we met) and I know there has to be a huge following of his stories. That is why I choose to say this here.

You didn’t take my virginity. There was someone before you, and I didn’t regret giving it to him even though I wished it was you. If I had come clean with you, well, there is just no way I am going to allow someone like you leave me. That’s why I kept this a secret.

Four years ago, that man and I found each other through the app we met. I didn’t think much of the dinner he asked me out for and once I spent some time with him, I knew how much I wanted to call him ‘Daddy’. Unlike other guys who are quick to jump into sexual topics, we actually spoke like best friends. It’s that kind of relationship which I hoped was between my dad so I will never do anything wrong.

That dinner was a once in my lifetime one in MBS, and we took a walk in the mall till we entered the hotel. You know how rarely I go to such places to even window shop, so I had no idea that we were heading for the hotel.

When we reached the lobby, I was so amazed and just looked around like a five-year-old. That place was a dream for anyone to stay in, let alone at my age then. Only when I followed him into the lift, did I know he opened a room for us. A part of me wanted to experience the life of the rich, and the other part kept reminding me of the likely outcome in the room.

The lights remained turned off after he closed the door, and all I knew happened was him hugging me tightly, while the zip of my dress crinkled down my spine. In my bra and panties, he brought me to the window to look at the gorgeous sight from the upper floors. The moonlight was all I remembered lighting up the whole room.

His arm went around my waist and moved up my side, stepping perpendicular to me and bending lower to scoop me from behind my knees. Feeling like a little girl, he waded through the perfectly neat bed on his knees till I was lying right in the centre. His body drew away from me as he sat up, slipping my panties off at the same time.

Before my eyes, his buttoned shirt came off to reveal a lean waist, and his pants ruffled noisily into nothingess. ‘Daddy?’, was all I could mustered before he crawled over my body, scaring me into the soft pillows with confusion.

He brushed his big hand across my face and strummed my lips, kissing them while a huge breath of air went into my lungs. It was during that passionate make out did I feel a cock touching my vagina for the first time, teasing the entry point for a long time before it stretched wider. As soon as the thicker ‘head’ made my roselip ‘plopped’, the rest of his shaft was easier to accommodate.

There was no pain in the super appreciated state and only when the base of his shaft touched my clit, did I opened my eyes to see him smiling calmly at me. I trailed my fingers across his shoulder blade and chest, finally landing silently on the soft mattress. I still remember that alluring V-shaped pelvic lines at his abs.

My knees went higher when he gave me his first thrust, alerting me to keep my legs out of the way for the rest of the ride. He moved at a comfortable slow speed till my eyes started closing again, shutting it completely when he increased his pace.

A man I knew nothing of his intention, has brought me this far in such an expensive room. Was I that desirable? Or is that ‘deserving’ a price I will pay later? My mind was fading into black background with beautiful waves like music in pretty rainbow colours. It was something I knew I shouldn’t have felt from a stranger.

Like music, the increasing tempo brought more colours, translating into pleasure through my whole body. At the peak, the scenic view had to disappear when my eyes jolted open, back to the unknowingly nice gentleman. I came when he gave me those long, deep strokes, a sign that he was much more experienced than me.

The musical darkness returned once my muscles lost their tension, and he drew his bow to smother me, his violin, again. I could sense the thickness growing inside me, as well as a series of flashes when those grooves stroked different areas of my vagina.

Before the next movement had finished playing, the bow had stopped moving. Cool air chilled my heated pussy while the mattress sunk to his weight. In the twilight, I opened my weary eyes to See the reason behind the abrupt end. His swollen, red cock went into his hand and it was looking straight at me.

I had given him what he needed to shower his cum over my body, soiling me in the precious liquid men seemed so eager to flush out. I dabbed some of it on my fingers and he handed me a towel to wipe. We went to the bathroom the size of my bedroom and soaked for a bit, where I took the chance to see upclose what just took my virginity.

Out of curiosity and playfulness, he gave in to my request to give him a handjob and I saw the fountain working again. Sweet and salty, I got a pat when I tasted his cum he unloaded in my hand. That night, we only did it once, and he left after the shower.

I never got that kind of sleep ever again since that day, one that is so peaceful in a place that had no familiar scent, not from my blanket, nor my soft toys. The next morning, I got a phone call from the reception about a delivery. He had arranged for breakfast to be sent and I had one of my most memorable meal ever, in just my panties.

When Baby asked me if I was ready to lose it to you, I nodded. I really am then, and still am now. To me, he was a memory, one that is as important as your first time that you gave to me. I don’t expect you to see the beauty in what I said above, but I cannot convince myself to regret no matter how hard I tried, or am trying to.

I love you Baby.


Between every couples, there will be secrets. I am not telling anyone to hide all, but do understand that there are things that he or she can never tell you. Different views aside, 100% understanding or even encouragement cannot undo what one has done. At times, not knowing is greatly more hopeful than being forgiven or accepted. What he or she needs to know will be shared, and for those secrets that can never be told, they will follow their owners to the grave.

I am writing all these with mixed feelings, with hope that he will and never will see this. Cause I can’t lose him.

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