This is only as true as your mind allows. Not really a sexy entry, but a thought provoking one.
We broke up about close to a month ago, it wasn’t a willing separation on my side, and till now, my mind could not accept the fact. Thoughts that I myself were afraid of surfaced in my dreams and random times. I will list the flow of thoughts that came, in sequence.
One of her mum’s friend saw us at the Hotel 81 along Balestier Road. My ex would of course deny that, knowing her mother would beat the crap out of her if that is true. She called me to make sure I was making the right statement IF her mum ever contacted me.
At first, I was going to protect her by saying what she wanted me to. But later, my mind, in a state of desperation, used that against her. I would think of spilling the beans to her mum, either via letters or text sms. It would make her life very miserable then.
Following that is the second crazy thought that came into my mind. We took some photos that WEREN’T nude or suggestive, BUT enough to prove that we’re naked (bare shoulders) and in a hotel. Photos like my hand in her denim skirt, her hand on my bulge, kissing, making out, were in my computer despite the crash that I encountered earlier this month.
I never expected those thoughts to enter my head. I loved her so much, and I suppose it’s the protective mechanism that activated all these extreme ideas. I planned for the photos to be edited, then uploaded here to aid my readers, and also to be shared online.
With the photos, I would make sure her neighbours get an idea of the naughty girl-next-door too. Let’s see how she walks out of her house.
The third was the leak of information of her personal details. Of course, I could be breaking some laws in Singapore. But when there are so many blogshops revealing information about customers that breached their trust, why can’t I do that too?
Blogging is a recognised medium to share information, especially of her family’s shop. I wanted to make sure people visit her house and shop just to see her (bearing the kinky stuffs she does in mind).
Defamation? Not so sure about that. She did go to a hotel with me, I would suspect if she claim to be a virgin. Her whole family would have more to lose than me. Her mum would not trust her anymore (hotel 81 lie). If her mum ever asked her to verify her virginity by going to the doctor, that explains how much she trust her own daughter, and doctors.
Thoughts are just thoughts. Technology is more of a forte to me than her. Plans and negotiations were made to delete the photos off my computer. Well, again, I am the IT guy here. I would wish her good luck if she ever breaches her trust for the X times.
We made promises, she broke it just like that. No matter to what extend, threats were never to be used, but I experienced it first hand from her.
I didn’t know what my mind was capable of, and now, a few of the forbidden sections were open. Now that I know. I think our brain is a wonderful piece of creation, designed to live and keeps the heart pumping for life, yet equipped with self-defence mechanism to find a ‘balance’ in our emotions and thoughts.