5 Realities of Writing Erotica (in Singapore)

5. Erotica is a type of pornography.

When I started out writing erotica, even I am convinced that it is a form of pornography. Mind you, sex is as livid in text as in ‘visual aid’, minds being more powerful to imagine than just to interpret.

But you know what? There is a word called ‘Literature’ too! Imagine Harry Potter, Lord of The Rings, Da Vinci Code, etc. Are they real? Are they completely impossible? If you have gotten high before, you would know they are as real as deja vu. The laws of Singapore categorise ‘pornography’ as anything depicting sex, or in my own understanding, penetration of any parts deemed ‘private’. Your ear is only harmless until someone stick their whatever in it – in filmed up-close, in slow-mo.

It is time we put ‘Erotica’ in the right genre, not of pornography, but literature. Am I the only one that thinks Singapore is the last country to know the difference between theoretically possible sexual recounts from live-action HD ‘documentaries’?

This part is where I quote ‘seeing is not the same as looking’, just like ‘watching is not the same as reading’. Thanks for being here guys. Hi5!

4. You (probably) need psychological help.
Riiiiiight. Everyone that thinks of sex needs psychological help. So let’s give an applause for those who doesn’t.. wait. Do they still exist? Or are they no longer around from the non-sexual reproduction methods? Maybe, just maybe, I need psychological help. But what am I going to tell my psychologist? It takes one to know another?

We all know how the myth goes, ‘Men think about sex every 7 second’. Not true at all. I would prefer to think, ‘Men think about sex every 7 nanosecond’, just change in unit of measurement and you’ll be right. Fine, that’s a lame joke. But there are times those thoughts come naturally too! It’s not my fault. Did you see that girl bending over in that short romper to look at shoes? Or how about the absence of visible panty line (a.k.a. VPL) of that lady in the tight dress? And that student in jailbait-length skirt squatting down to pet a cat? She didn’t even wear!

Healthy imagination plays an important role for logical, proper directing of thoughts. To get laid, we first must socialise. Knowing your way around words will benefit more than just getting sex. We belong to a species that for some reason, discovered masturbation. And doing what our species do best to new discoveries, we science the bitch out of it. It turns out that, self-pleasure is actually healthy (just like chocolates, there’s never ‘enough’ or ‘too much’)!

You are given the rights, privileges and know-how to keep your hormones under control. This is how this works, if you say you do not need pleasure (be it chocolates or sex, but data has shown that chocolates get you sex), you need psychological help. But wait, no one talks about this in Singapore, except me.

Unless you are caught for being something that I’ll cover in the following topic.

3. You (probably) are a pervert/ psychopath.
Aww. Thanks! I have a perversion for cleaning my own dick as fast as I want. In this pent-up, trapped-by-other-people’s-ideals and living-for-others kind of Utopia, our minds has activated the safety mechanism no other mammals had. A liking for things that you shouldn’t.

Woohoo! Don’t we already have a long list for that? It is not the fetish I have that makes me dangerous around people. Nor is it the fetishes of others that endangers me. It is the lack of expression. Expression itself can roughly translate to physical actions. If I am into worn lingerie, I can either buy them or steal them. (Who hangs their dirty laundry out in public? What for? Someone is going to clean them for you?)

I admit I am the guy that thinks of sex every.. sex! And I choose to pen them down instead. Watching porn doesn’t relieve me, there is no EXpression in that, just IMpressions! So, the most important point is, let it OUT while you watch. Or just read one of my stories and ‘cum together’ with the male/ female lead, just mentally though! Three and more imaginary rounds wouldn’t be a problem here.

Truth is, here are no perverts in this world. Just perverts that overdo, or are caught pants down. That said, just be careful of those who seemed too normal. They probably never wore any pants. FYI, I am no underwear thief!

2. Money seems to be the only thing driving blogs these days.
Yes yes. As if you are going to pay after reading this. Well, Attention! Is what people want besides money. I can’t imagine being paid to write. It would suddenly turn my hobby into a job I am trying not to get into. The very moment you decide to go full blog-o-maniac, you will lose a little bit of motivation there.

‘Wah! If only I can stop writing and get paid.’ Of course you can! Simply stop blogging, and work just like everyone else, that’s the happy ending. As for me, I write because I choose to. Can you imagine the hours I trade to spend time in front of my typewriter instead of clubbing or boning girls? No one would choose writing about sex than to have sex. And for those who chose that, you’ll find their stories or art work as rewarding. Because their minds are out there enjoying a thousand different sex lives.

Wait! How about sex? Can sex be driving blogs? Sure! Can I eat you for dinner? I can have my ego for lunch though. If I am writing for free, I can survive on air (in case anyone of you don’t get it, I am willing to work elsewhere for the money needed to keep this site running). So don’t fret. Apart from my occasional impulsive ‘wants’, I am good on my own.

The handful of writers in my blogroll, are writing for something more than money. If I can get a single cent of what I write, of course I will be happy. But when the greedy thoughts of outsourcing and running ads for more money comes, I will be back to square one, writing for free (since you will lose all your readers because of ads).

If one day you see a subscription to read (some or all of) my blog, you will know I am hungry, and penniless.

Until then, passion will keep me going. And maybe a tinge of sex for inspiration.

1. Your sex life must be damn active.

I said, a TINGE of sex! If there is ever a limited number of ejaculations per man, I would have used up all of it already, plus my next life’s, if you count every shot I ‘shot’ in my stories and the times I didn’t blog about it. It’s my BRAIN that is active. Actively thinking about sex. I’m much more lazy (physically) in reality.

Anyway, how do you guys picture your active sex life to be? Boning at every chance you’ve got? Apparently, we are all ready to settle down for quantity over quality huh?

What if I told you, that making baby is the easiest part, but getting a good baby, takes more than your xth number of tries? Would you care a little more about what you eat? My sex life is normal. I get some of it, in manageable doses. Once in a while, I want more of it, and other times, none of it. But as the saying goes, ‘it takes two hips to sex’. So I do tend to my partner’s needs as well.

Imagination spans beyond physical limitations. In my case, I have a long dick and eternal stamina. No. My fictional characters get tired too, and they only cum three times at best. Kinda useless for fiction huh? I write when I feel noisy – a term perhaps few of you would understand since we are all tired after an intense round of JAV marathon. I do NOT write after every ejaculate.

My day job, family, friends, and even silence, creates noises. Thinking about sex actually distracts me from the events that past. When I think about sex (not necessarily penetrative), I write. When I write, my mind pours the negativity out. A clear mind, free of sexual desires and sinful lust, at least for the next few hours. In turn, you guys get to enjoy my fantasies. Am I a ladies man? Nope. Am I a sly, catfishing keyboard warrior? No to the sly catfisher part. But keyboard warrior? Yeah! It’s weird the keys never stayed down on my keyboard. A warrior never gives up!

What I wrote above is what comes to mind when I look at how this country looks at me. I write a controversial genre of literature, in a country that is not yet ready to talk about sex. Parents who sees my site will judge it to be a pornography site. It pushes thoughts into the minds of the young, but for the more mature ones, it’s just one person’s story, on one of the many websites in the world. Small, insignificant, until you take it personally. If you would take a minute to think, what will you tell your child if he/she stumbles on my blog?

  1. Parental filter it and pretend it never happened.
  2. Talk to them about the existence of such form of ‘pornography’. Here, I’ll be the bad guy you want me to be.

Seriously, reading improves English. Watching action films doesn’t. The views I expressed above, represents NO one else but me, J.

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