Eyes

He is humourous, she is mean. He goes straight to the point, she maybe-s. He is the hermit, she’s the chariot. As they stood before each other, he had his hand on her neck, thumb brushing across her cheek as she tilted her head sideways. It wasn’t the touch that was on their minds. It was the challenge.

Their eyes locked in gaze, occasionally darting to the left and right of the person before. Their lips slightly apart, breathing out intentions and thoughts that none of them could ever guess. The mutual feeling they had for each other, had matched their personalities. The opposites and similarities, their differences in methodology, their conflicting attitudes, their same hectic schedules.

Lovers had always knew what bonded them wasn’t anything materialistic, neither were beliefs or tastes for worldly desires. These two knew exactly what would join them as one. Perhaps it might work, perhaps it wouldn’t. In the emptiness of the corridor, she was leaning on the wall relaxed, he was standing firmly on the ground. Something in them was growing eager, shown through the depth of their breaths, and coldness of his touch despite the long contact.

In her mind, she was trying to sense his faithfulness, for she knew she can be that wilful. And in his heart, he was decoding her vision for them, for he knew, he is easily malleable.

The watch hanging on the sling of his bag ticked louder, and she had not removed her hand from his which had held onto her for better insight, cause she was looking as deep as he was into her. Maybe for once, this standstill in time had allowed her to feel on her own accord, instead of the mere hardwork and dedication the other side had done to earn her feelings. He knew it would take two to make this work, and he tries hard to convince her she can.

Their lips came dangerously close without realisation, but it was an inch short of complete trust. How could one moment make up for what needed to be built over time?, she thought to herself. In reply to her hesitation, he answered with the same silence, What if this one moment is what you have missed out for the relationships you built over time?

She heard him, and he saw in her eyes what she understood. Words might describe what will happen, but can never tell what anyone of us is going to do. Sex might strengthen love, but only if love is stronger than the act of love. How many of us had felt security never before during sex, but the feeling disappears as soon as the deed is done? Only to be desiring for it again to have that sense of belonging again?

Whatever she had done, it never went past that point, she felt the same promise again, but they never lasted. All he had done, was to show that no matter if he made love to his partners, he will never love himself as much. This short minutes they spent in each other’s mind, showed her what he could provide. A freedom limited by her principles and guilt. As long as she feels fine doing what she loves, he feels fine. And for him, a willing freedom limited by what she hopes he would get right. Not by warnings or hints, but by logic and discipline.

Yes, she knew him by what he does and experienced. Yes, he knew her by the character moulded by the people and events around her. His feelings for other skimmed just above the surface no matter how deep the world expects everyone to be affected. Her feelings run deep no matter how insignificant most people would consider the situations to be.

They are strong in the presence of strengths, and it is not ‘you can make up for my weakness and I can make up for yours’ that she is looking for. It’s ‘you’ll take care of me at my weakest moment and I will take care of you.’ She is adventurous enough to take on anything that meant danger, and thus him. Cause he will be the one danger, she will never fall beyond.

His compassion, seen as a weakness to her, is the strongest cushion he can provide. And when he deflates, the strong chariot is the one to lead him into the sun to puff him up again, to let him bounce off the cliff only to catch him at the base.

The very vicious cycle that all lovers wishes to eliminate, the irregularities, the kinks and bumps in each others’ character, will be the one thing that will hold this two tightly together.

Now, with their lips a breath away, will they join as one? One that will precede the most unimaginable love, sex, social, emotional lives they can never think of having.

30-Nothings

30s with nothing, why isn’t that a surprise to myself? But there can’t really be nothing right? How about the savings account that.. Yeah. It’s almost empty! Was it my spending habit that is breaking the bank? Perhaps some crazy collections of lighters or an addiction to sleazy massages? How about – none?

While I am not sure of how many others are there like me out there, it seemed that ‘we’ aren’t that rare after all. For one, I hate that I love this demanding-and-unrewarding industry so much, that I would tune my own needs (for more money for example) out just to enjoy myself at work.

While everyone my age is married, or at least almost ready to marry, I am here trying to figure out what is wrong with my life. There have been so many that told me to find a stable, office job like everyone my age ‘desire’. There have even been more that tell me to pursue what I hold a degree in, like the I.T. sector that is known to be expense-minded.

If you asked me if I know one thing that is harming me, I do have an answer – that is to never stop trying to build something of my own. A business, an idea, a skill, an investment, call it anything you want, but there is this ‘discontentment’ that I cannot seem to resolve, like ‘I have yet to try everything’.

Is there anyone else?

As much as I hate to say that this ‘erotica’ world is unorthodox when it comes to ‘how’ money can come, I did spend a lot of time figuring out what else can I do with my skills. Even if I considered my writing ‘skills’ to be ‘up there’, which companies can I write for that doesn’t require me to have a look degree of some sort?

Journalism? Copywriter? Secretarial? How can they seem ‘boring’ to me all at once? Back to the question of ‘what have I not tried?’, the paths I can take seems gloomy.

For someone who enjoys uncertainties, toughness, meeting demands, making people’s day, creating with one’s own hands, who at the same time, hates excessive human interactions, expectations, any so-called ‘system’, what’s left for me to choose from?

I have long accepted that I can, or rather, I prefer, to live alone, as a bachelor in nicer terms. But no one else in my life could accept that. They expect me to have a partner, if not searching for one, to have a job with stable working hours, earning little-but-monotonus (not necessarily easy).

Have I gone wrong in so many places that starting over right now, would put me somewhere someplace too late for me to accomplish anything? Right.

The catch up game. Comparisons. Peer pressure.

I know I should be settling down, we all know we should. Enough people have told us that ‘we’ve tried enough’, that ‘we should start stopping’. Why is that advice so impossible to follow?

What the fuck, am I looking for?

Freedom, creativity, ever-changing situations, doesn’t that sound like a ‘risk manager’? Or ‘at risk’ manager? Fuck.

Yeah. Fuck. I’m too late. You’re too late. And none of us will be deviating from that urge to keep carving something out for ourselves, no matter how bleak it looks, no matter how many told us that it’s enough.

I will earn, and spend, almost every last time to make sure something happens, if not, try again next paycheck. There has to be something that I can create.

Right?

Help Ena

Update: A loan of $300 (yes.. S$300) has been given to Ena, so any donations will be used to offset the loan on my side. Her immediate crisis has been averted. Please contact me for details.

Hi guys, I believe it has been some time since I reached out for help. An ex-erotica blogger, Ena, is in dire need of money to tide her family over this period of difficulty arising from some complications in her job hunt. I had written this plea with hope, that some of you out there may be able to make a small donation, that wouldn’t require her to return, given how stressed she is already.

I have given her a loan of S$20 that I won’t be asking for, and sincerely wish that some of you might be able to lend a hand. This is not a ‘Indiegogo’ or ‘Kickstarter’ campaign, so be aware that there is nothing to be gained from this. There is nothing sexual about this entry, remember that.

For those who are in contact with her, please do not alert her about this post, for I will tell her that the money comes from her followers, and my helpful readers. If you have ever been in such helplessness before, you’ll understand how a small amount from a few people can go a long way.

Please help, if possible. Drop me an email, with a username or real name. I will list the names of those who have contributed, under this post that will be deleted in time. This time, I’ll need you to trust me that all the money goes to her.

Strength

Hello people! Just because you’re here reading my site, I’m going to tell you something that I wished only the right people would know. Cause it’s going to make you somewhat attractive as hell. The best thing is, it doesn’t matter if you are a guy or a girl! Strong language incoming.

Okay. To all those assholes who have been posting on every social media in existence that you are horny, wants to fuck, up for flings, fuck you. Also, to those who feel lonely because the people you are there for, weren’t there when you need them, shut up already.

I am going to grant you guys one word after I get this off my chest, but first, a little history of this ‘epiphany’. There has been one too many people out there who are feeling unfair one way or another. The sense of void, loneliness, helplessness, desperate urges, we are all going through that. We are bombarded with so much influence that everyone is needy around us, we accidentally look at ourselves and feel the same.

Are we the same? Are you the same? Right. Of course you’re not! (Since you’re here). The one big thing that differentiate men from real men, is strength. So, the word is STRONG. Yes, be strong. I know you are feeling miserable that no one loves you, but don’t you love anyone? Be strong for them!

We all feel down once in a while, and making it known to everyone who cares about you actually makes you look fucking weak. It doesn’t matter how many hours you are strong that you get to feel weak. You aren’t supposed to be weak in their eyes. For people who don’t know you yet, do you want to appear weak to them?

Your needy needs, please keep it to yourself. Come up with something strong, confident, inspirational and let it tell the story of you. No one really wants to be your listening ear to what made you feel shitty. Let them WANT to be with you because you are strong, stronger than them. If you haven’t realised, friendships that come about from pity or sympathy sucks. Everyone is depending on everyone that no one feels strong anymore. If someone is toppling like a loose piece of domino, be the fucking wall that keeps them from falling onto their friends and loved ones.

If their friends and families feel that you are dependable, would they oppose your involvement with him/ her? Imagine you’re a fucking train wreck, who would want to be near you? Much less fulfil your needs. Thing is, be the one to fulfil others’ needs, and show that you can handle your own needs and shit, they will be closer to you before you realised.

In case you still haven’t got the jizz of this entry, just be strong. Or stronger. People asked you to be there not because you’re nice or rich or useful. They think you are stronger than them who couldn’t be there for themselves! Okay. Maybe not that serious but don’t count on those who asked you to be there to be there. You – fucking stand firm on your feet and be there for those who need you whenever.

Now, does it seem unfair that you’re there but they’re not? Good. Keep feeling unfair and no one wants to be around you. For fuck’s sake, accept that life is unfair. And you’ll be the first to be fair to everyone else. You can be the person to go to when everyone is crumbling. Just imagine how fucking awesome is that. The rock hard pillar. ;)

Whew. Okay. Everything is out. Lesson learnt, lesson shared. It’s up to you guys now.

Figment, Fragment

When you came into my life, I couldn’t believe how someone could be so similar to exist. Not that you like everything I like or have the same habits, but at a frequency you can understand me when I go quiet or have the lights out in my eyes. We spoke about everything we felt and gone through, but never dwelled too deep into what we did.

The times we drank together, the crazier side of you surfaced to meet mine. Silly innuendoes, hurling vulgarities, sarcastic personal attacks, you could take as much as I could throw. We knew exactly what to reply to everything we said, and the long walks along the coast was filled with silence we understood.

Everything was moving forward so fast to a point it got really scary, as if the end was just in front of us. I know good things don’t last, but certainly, not that soon. You poured your heart out after we stopped on a bridge, and I suspected you were letting your guard down when you trusted me so soon.

Still, I never intended to make use of you nor hurt you, giving you all I had to make sure you have someone when you needed anything. Somehow, you felt I got too close when I offered help no one would, running errands deemed to be too tedious for a simple friendship.

Then one day, you went silent. You still did what you needed to do in my presence, but the distance between us couldn’t be any further apart even though we were standing right next to each other.

It was then, I realised. You didn’t come into my life. I came into yours, upon your calling. Basically, I would not exist at all if not for your desire to see someone who can take your stress away. The pressure you have been under caused me to appear, sort of like a safety mechanism before the snapping point. And now that you have gathered yourself, this fragment is left to fade on its own.

One day, I will no longer be here. And that day will come once your mind knows you no longer need me around.

Typical SG50 Post

A SG50 Special by The Singaporean ero-writer, his mother’s son.

Well, as you can see in the ‘Category’ this post belongs to, it’s a rant, but one closer to heart. With all those ‘what it means to be a Singaporean’ and ‘what I like being a Singaporean’, how could I miss this chance to write a proper blog post right? Bear with the slightly heavier Singlish tone k?

Since I started out blogging, discovering erotic blogs really showed me the other side of Singapore. The more oppressed we are, the darker we get. The darker we get, the more we vent, at times on other people, or into the public. Words, no matter said or typed, shaped this country till this day. Serious! The lawsuits that protects the powerful people, the penal codes that creates freedom within the seemingly-free land. Every word we say can and will be used against us.

Sure, this place is expensive for even its own citizens, but aren’t we alive (but confirm under-happy)? I have a little corner I can write, I have a space online I can vent, I have jobs to choose from the Classifieds. I think I am luckier than most people.

What it means to be a Singaporean though, has a slightly different meaning to me. As the ‘Jhae’ to provide you with awesome stories, I AM glad that we are conservative when it comes to sex. Else you think we have such mundane but interesting plots to read? Sure, sex is quite westernised when it comes to toys and positions. But where we live, really puts the challenge back into everyday-sex and increasing bedroom intensity (more than just fun). It’s not enough to just get money-fucked huh?

Most of the laws related to sex is a blanket rule. Can’t have sex means no penetration of any parts (luckily that law don’t exist). If you don’t understand, they will define ‘sex’, ‘penetration’ and ‘parts’ for you. Definition is the true murderer.

Of all the countries, I think ‘words’ weigh the most here. You don’t think ‘erotic literature’ is really harmless ah, the government actually pays attention to the detrimental mental effects it has. ‘Corruption of minds’, ‘misleading information’, ‘unrealistic depiction’, are all relevant terms IF any writer is brought before the court. Everyone knows that 18+ warning is useless.

But one common thing applicable to everywhere in the world, is the thrill of bending the rules. I know it is dangerous to be so well-known in the erotic-sphere, heck, it is even dangerous to write that many stories under one name. ‘Sick’, I am before the eyes of Lady Justice. However, if they do bring light to such a small medium of human expression, I’ll make sure this side of Singapore shines (in the world!).

Am I drifting too far from why I love Singapore? Happy 50th Birthday SG! Though I am only here for 3/4 of the time, I am glad to be here. People say it’s not possible to find a job they love and live happily on it, I beg to differ. I even have two jobs I love! One, to write for these bunch of awesome, smart, witty, but horny people, and second, to make coffee for basically every lactose-tolerant beings (no soy please).

Both take turns to stress me though, so I use the other for relief. I enjoy waking up in a hurry to beat the morning crowd, having roti prata and cheap coffee on my non-working days, saying ‘the usual’ to the mee pok stall during guilt-filled lunch breaks (cause everyone is chionging in my absence), eating dim sum and refreshing $3 ‘yu sheng (raw fish)’ on my late working days and finally for my journey home, trying to nap in the noisy buses filled with foreign chattering.

There is NO other place in the world to feel like a foreigner right at home! Well, to be fair, my ancestors did went through that stereotype once. Never a better time to be alive to see how Singapore will turn out in the future.

Unlimited broadband, sometimes cranky 100% transport-connected infrastructure, everyone’s funeral/ wedding community, luxurious amenities not designed for Singaporean (pocket), anti-locals casinos on local land, conscription-style army no one can (easily) siam, laws that say we can’t do anything but eat-shit-work-sleep-die, MRTs that makes me an unwilling molester, no SGreans talk about sex except facing therapists, lift-on-every-floor, getting sued for making girls who wear little feel uncomfy with a longer stare, summer all year round, wailing cats that sounds like a dying babies, cats that don’t catch mice, cats that makes your day, cats that asked to be pet THEN bite you, cats that makes you wonder if they have any ambitions.

Perhaps! When we put all the bad together, something good can happen, something safer for the people who cannot control themselves at times and go awry. While we are quick to suan (critise), we actually appreciate what have been done for us. If not we won’t be here, right? Say RIGHT!

That makes this special year that marks the 50th year of independence from everyone, giving us the title of ‘No man’s land (no one owes Singapore a living, so don’t expect her to owe you anything)’, ‘No man is an island (many men is?)’ and probably ‘Shutter Island (everyone here is siao, so no one feels left out)’.

If you’re not crazy yet, you are still struggling with life. Once you embrace the craziness, welcome to Singapore! That’s your real mark of citizenship. Ok lah. Enough of nonsense. I’m just sad I never actually went to NDP before, and I thought they say every SGrean will get a fun pack? Why only one per household? I really like the baby biscuit (makes me want to grow up and have teeth to eat).

Happy long weekends and send your love via comments (OMG IT RHYMES)!

Get Bigger, Last Longer

For SG50, Phantacee.com will be updated daily for these three days, ensuring you have something to wake up to every morning. To start things off, here is a little bonus material for you guys out there! Happy holidays! Have fun and stay safe.

Are you guys lacking in size? Or stamina? You have came to the right place! And more specifically, at the right time! Not only I do NOT have the proven methods to solve your issues, some could even be dangerous! Please do not attempt to replace any equipments I mentioned in this article (with rubber bands or whatever sauce in your kitchen). I HAVE and AM using the listed items here myself. Don’t assume that it will be suitable for you. Consult a doctor if need to.

Cock Rings (for Size)

What if I tell you there is an instant method to increase your size? As you might expect, it IS dangerous. What we often know as ‘cock rings’, they are used to restrict blood flow from your penis. They are placed around the base of the shaft, trapping blood with five-lane highway outwards, forcing a U-turn at the tip into a single-lane road.

I am not very sure about the size or types of cock rings you have seen, but this is my secret.

IMG_20150723_122148 (Custom)

An adjustable choker that allows me to control its tightness and offers a quick release option. Although it isn’t a 360 seal, I find a peace of mind using it. I won’t be posting any before and after photos here. Move along now.

Desensitising Spray (for Stamina)

Truth to be told, I am not very sporty nor active outdoors. ‘An unhealthy body cannot last long’, that was what I learnt during my NS and after. To solve the issue of ‘stamina’, one must embrace the fact that, the only beneficiary of this method is your partner. Not yourself, not your creaking bed.

This magic potion is my next secret.

IMG_20150723_122133 (Custom)

This is a delay spray that desensitise (numb. the other word is numb) your dick so you can pound her non-stop for the next 20 minutes. Then here comes the challenge. If you are ONLY with her for sex, good luck. Cause you are using that sensation running through your dick to stay hard, like an exercise. It’s like chasing a thief who stole from you, and chasing someone else’s thief. In which scenario will you run faster? Here, you can’t even feel your dick.

However, if you are with her for love, you will experience the most tiring sex ever (cause she turns you on with memories). You are connected to her physical response to keep going.

Imagine something erotic if your little one deflates (no matter if you are making love or fucking), you will get harder (hopefully). The intellect of the male user will be put to the test when using the spray, for he must be able to feel with what has no feelings.

Chim huh? Well, it’s a fucking delay spray for men. Don’t delay her orgasms. Using it without a condom will require you to rinse it 5 minutes after application, and using a condom will not require you to get out of bed. Just spray, foreplay somemore, cap on, and get it on. Don’t accidentally numb her.

A girl falling asleep while you are inside her just shows how.. tired she is? ;)


So! Those are the two items I use on myself for her pleasure. Of course, great sex goes beyond them, but I realise that there are hardly any replacements for long stamina with big dicks. This tiny sacrifice will go a long way in terms of the sex life with her.

About where to get it.. I can get them there are demands. But don’t expect them to come cheap. Fast shipping can be solved by money, but the customs are less forgiving. Well, do inquire if you are interested. Every purchase you make keeps this site alive, paving her way for expansion in all directions.