While the ladies have an expansive range of ‘tools’ they can use as a toy, men have far less options, minus the right (or left) hand whom we sometimes call ‘girlfriend’. DIY-toys are often too labour-intensive, in comparison to the ‘simple’, ‘single-motion’ task it would serve.
So, besides getting a H.E.P.S. blowjob assistant or struggle to spend upward of S$80-90 for a intricately-packaged, over-the-top-quality, branded airplane cup, what could I possibly recommend you?
1. Pokelove Sleeve Masturbator
Let’s start with a promotional image shall we?
Now, you must be thinking, ‘WTF?!’ And I would like you to keep thinking that way. What does its elasticity even say about its material and prowess? Well, let me explain, or clarify – from experience.
Of the Tenga(s) I have, airplane cups I neglected, replica-pussy that I have struggled to wash, this (refer to to above), has been my go-to, no-brainer solution whenever I needed to let one out.
As shown, it is that soft, and strong. Built to ‘accommodate’ rather than ‘stimulate’, I have full control over the two crucial factors for a good shot – namely ‘tightness’ and ‘speed’. This particular sleeve provides nothing more than a layer of cushioning for you to go as wild or as gentle as you prefer.
Imagine this, a little tug on the top for some suction, or a forceful downward jerk to let out some steam, either way, you will not be able to harm this object too much that it would tear.
More unhelpful imagery
If you do get to its product page, please (kind of) ignore its claim to ‘self-lubricate’, since we will be washing off any unknown/ unidentified coating on it before use.
Now, what would one get a USB heating rod for? It’s not that cold here, nor is your heart that cold.
Ah hah! I think you understand its purpose now. What could be more comforting than to give your new stretchy, ‘indestructible’ partner some warmth? Especially when it will greatly benefit whoever visiting it soon.
Although this looks as simple as ‘plug-and-play’, I can assure you that you will find it challenging to get it deep without any lubrication. Hence, they included some waterproofing so you can add some lube to put the rod where it belonged.
Personally, I have not ordered from this particular store, but I had definitely bought something similar before. It does what it says, heating up your toy to a specific temperature before you stick your dong in. Of course, I have to mention, that you should be careful and check the inner-temperature before you go full length into it.
I have once or twice entered a hell hole and ruined the mood for a whole day.
As said, it is always wise to do a finger temperature check in case your heating rod malfunctions, and cooks more than just a measly masturbation sleeve (pssst.. your hot dog!).
Measurements as follows, and please do not attempt to stick this anywhere else.
Let’s skip the boring introduction and get started with my second roundup, of sex-related products found on AliExpress that I have bought, received, and tested on myself (or with her). One habit I found helpful to make thorough comparisons (on the site) is to scroll all the way down, to the lower-end of the product page you are eyeing, and take a look through the ‘More to Love’ section. There, you may find other stores peddling the same, or similar products that you were about to buy.
Disclaimer: As mentioned before, I am neither sponsored nor benefitting from my ‘reviews’ of any items listed in this post. I cannot take responsibility for any failure on their deliverance, though I have high regards for the well-intended nature of the employees running the stores. Like always, read their reviews (if any), be prudent and stay imaginative as your purchase can take weeks to arrive.
1. Plain, Simple (small!) Dildo
A cute, little weiner
Now, of all the sizes of dildos available, why would I suggest one that is 11cm-ish, and grossly insufficient to satisfy her deepest cravings? Well, in my defence, I am not, very much bigger than that (~11cm), and it is to my benefit, that my partner is pleasured by something that wouldn’t undermine my.. physical limitations.
I don’t think it sucks.
If you (a guy), are up for an all-out war, akin to revenge, or dominance, or even punishment, I wouldn’t stop you from wearing your cherished one out that way. At the end, it’s the men whom have to bear with any temporary deformation that may take a long time to recover from.
As for the girls, I believe that ‘dildos’ are designed as a make-shift replacement, not that your best friend can’t be a rubber dong, but if you are using one in place of your man’s, a short(er) stick will then leave you with more to want the next time you see him.
What colour fancies you?
In any case! I strongly advocate a smaller-than-needed dildo if your objective is to deepen lust, stir desire, and then be completely-satiated by the ‘real thing’.
For those who don’t know, and don’t believe in rectal wellness, this probably wouldn’t appeal to you, much less its unverified benefits that I am not qualified to debunk. Weird enama wash aside, I tend to find ‘giving your butt-hole a rinse’ quite an enlightening experience, not that I do it to derive any pleasure from that exit.
While I cannot ascertain if there are any good to douche-your-an, I’d like to think that it flushes something out(?). I don’t know how else to put this but, when you ‘pump’ a sizable amount of warm water into your rectum, you will find a certain challenge – meaningful, to hold it in before you ‘let it all out’.
Mine is 310ml in blue.
Fun as it may sound, fun is also why I do it more than once every (rare) time I douche. Well, as for its validity, I will leave it up to you guys to fact-check and research on its purported function, minus those ‘holistic’ recommendations to put other type of liquids up your bum bum.
Here is something for the imaginative boys, or the self-dependent ladies, to procure some clothes that are mainly designed to be donned in the bedroom, though I’m sure some of their listings could be layered for ‘outdoor-wear’.
I, for one, have always been hesitant about buying clothes online, simply because I cannot see its true size, and feel its over-hyped material. Sure, they provide numerical measurements for reference, but in my opinion, it will always be an estimate, which doesn’t quite work if you know that their advertised material are actually stretchable, or how it ‘should not be’.
However, when I made my first purchase(s) on these particular stores (as shown below), I was pleasantly surprised to know that;
Their numerical measurements are accurate
They understated the elasticity so it wouldn’t disappoint bigger-sized buyers (we want ‘stretch-able’, not ‘loose-fitting’).
The materials they used are sturdier than shown in their photos.
In light of the above criterias, they remain one of my go-to stores if I need any kinky outfits for special occasions.
Long ‘thumbnails’ ahead!
Fengxin
SAROOSY
Shenzhen Yitong
Download the thumbnails to your phone/ computer for a clearer view, or simply click on their respective links to visit!
As we all know, things here aren’t exactly cheap, especially when it comes to novelty items that are of an ‘adult nature’. While sex shops are a-little-plenty, they mainly carry reputable (read; branded) products that are not so wallet-friendly for younger couples, experimenting older-folks, and solo taskers.
Like some of you out there, I am always up for a good deal, purely motivated by monetary savings. Though i have to admit that bigger companies/ well-known brands are capable of building sturdier products, there are still some demands for certain features, that smaller, budding companies are more willing to explore. After all, all of these adult-toys-producing companies are looking for a niche of their own to shine in.
Where else, would I find a better(?), cheaper, and more enterprising/ competitive market than AliExpress? The moment you get on Ma’s e-commerce site, you will most certainly, like me, find things you don’t really need but suddenly want it because of its low price. Despite my fears, and the rare occasions that goods don’t get delivered, arrive beaten-up, or even failed spectacularly to meet my (zero) expectations, my shopping experience remains largely satisfactory (accounting for reasonable dispute-management, slightly-delayed-but-existent response to inquiries, accommodating vendors who wouldn’t just ‘ignore’ any dissatisfaction).
So! In this repressive, dire times for entertainment and (sexual) inspiration, fuelled partly by my need to inject something ‘new’ into this monotonous(?), text-filled blog, I will be making my first ever attempt to roundup goods I have personally ordered, received, and used, on myself or her ;) , along with many witty comments I can come up with. Scroll away!
Disclaimer: I am not sponsored by AliExpress or its stores, thus only direct (not affiliated) are included.While I am fairly sure that the other listings and recommendations (for ‘similar’ products) you may stumble upon, come from the same factory, I cannot vouch for their credibility since I only bought from the stores I explicitly linked below.
1. LeThink Wireless (Bluetooth) Vibrator
LeThink – Magic Motion Wireless Vibrator
The ‘appeal’, of having someone ‘under control’ has always been valid, and real as the desire to be ‘controlled’. For a long time, we have relied on wired-type, bullet vibrator, as ‘wireless’ seemed to be ‘indulgent’, ‘impractical’, and even ‘cumbersome’ to use.
Concerns like battery replacement, unstable connections, size, longevity, were very legitimate – then. With innovation and progress in technology, this particular genre of sex toy has been advancing as well.
Leveraging on the fact that we are always with our phones, the use of ‘bluetooth’ in a vibrator couldn’t have come at a better time. Since a small number of us aren’t hesitant about ‘playing’ with our phones during together-time, you might as well do something helpful with it.
Besides bluetooth, it also addresses one major problem – battery.
Yay for USB charging!
Yes, you saw that right. It accepts direct charging through a USB port, though I won’t recommend you do what the image demonstrated. This toy wouldn’t make a good laptop stand. Nonetheless, there you have it.
Battery, solved. Remote control, solved. Size? Take out a ruler and follow me.
At its widest, it measures 3.7cm, and at its longest, 10cm. Curved for ease-of-insertion, and I think reasonably-sized against any accidental ‘fall-out’, bet you guys didn’t know that it can be dislodged if your woman is wet, and relaxed enough, right? (Therefore wear-a-panties for him to take off, and not drop-the-vibrator for him to pick up.)
As a man of equivocal culture, I have explored other possibilities but not limited to the obvious clue above. But what the hell. If you haven’t tried it, or haven’t found something at a beginner-level to get into it, now is perhaps the time to know your other end.
Since this is a post for product recommendation, I will not be getting into the pros-and-pros of such adventure, and instead focus on why I am bringing this here.
For starters, men and women alike, there has been times we contemplate about doing otherworldly ‘things’ to see if there is something else out there. The references we have come across, both see and heard, didn’t seem to be very reassuring, yet we have not made our minds up about eliminating such possibilities.
So here, I am recommending you this particular product from this particular store, because they carry a (pinky) size you would probably laugh at.
Guess which one am I asking you to.
If you are reluctant, like me, about making ass-play a major part in your sex life, the smallest of them will be as undaunting as we can accept. It adds a little tingle, that would give you glimpses of your potential, but never too forceful that you can feel any ‘disgust’ or ‘offense’ with yourself. It will just – open your eyes a little, and do nothing else. So why not?
Refer to image directly-above for all available information. The seller did not provide any other images more helpful than that.
I won’t deny this – sometimes, I, or rather, she needs lubricant. Brands like NuruGel and Durex are pretty well-known, for their capability to produce fantastical lubricants that they cannot even imagine what people would use them for.
Sold in small bottles, they remain relatively affordable – if we moderate our use. In my case, I could almost feel a tiny pinch each time I required more lube, and it literally costs me a (small) price tag to ‘love myself’.
While some of us are limited by circumstances to use soap, store-bought lubricants, I’m sure none of us would wish to use our own spit (eww) if we had a choice. In short, store-bought lubricants can get expensive if they’re required frequently, or used lavish, and there is (now) a more-affordable way to ‘make your own’ (some non-tedious effort required).
Here it comes!
For the Mandarin-challenged people, this COKELIFE-branded bottle contains a ‘magic’ powder. When you add said powder to warm water, it mysteriously increases the viscosity of the liquid. Weighing in at 45 grams, it is advertised to produce up to 500 litres of lubricant.
‘What shit’, you might utter to yourself, but having bought and used it (in various lazy ways that failed and succeeded), I can assure you that there will come a time you doubt the need for ‘this much’ lubricant.
Follow the instructions below;
Step 1: Add 5g to 50ml of water. (Seriously, add the smallest amount you can nudge out of the bottle and add more later if needed. I don’t recommend making more than ~50ml of lube at any one time.)
Step 2: Stir. (Don’t ever think ‘the hotter the water, the faster it will dissolve’, that isn’t remotely true in this case. Make sure the water is at a temperature you can dip a finger in. In this case, ‘a little warm’ is good enough.)
Step 3: Stir really thoroughly. (Make sure there is no powder visible before you add more. Don’t be afraid to dip your fingers in to test its texture.)
Step 4: Have fun with it! (Don’t be mistakened that this lube will last forever. Over time, the liquid will get thicker, to the point that you will worry if it can go down the drain; it will. Only mix as much as you think you need. Advertised expiry: 1 month.)
More notes;
While the powder might resemble ‘starch’, and its accompany label (on bottle) mentioned ‘all natural/ plant-based’, it is not food-grade.
If you ever try to make milo/ green tea/ ribena/ vodka cranberry into a lube, please remember the point above and pay extreme attention to the effects of sugar on a lady’s part.
As ‘convenient’ as water-based sound, this particular lube can be very slippery, as it is dangerously-invisible on bathroom tiles. Use with great care, and little moderation.
Unlike consumer-grade lubricant, be prepared for the need to rinse said product off (bodies) as it doesn’t get absorbed or dry easily (if you concocted an especially-viscous batch.)
Once you have made your tiny bottle of lube, how else would you dispense it? Alright alright, before we get into a debate amongst creative gentlemen, let me justify this product placement.
Since I started ‘making’ my own lubricant, I have rinsed out countless bottles that I have bought, or repurposed for the singular goal to dispense the lube cleanly, and professionally (a small amount at a time).
Big pump bottles (like your body wash), small(er) pump bottles (like commercial hand-sanitiser), large squeeze bottle (upcycled Durex Massage Play 2-in-1), small(er) squeeze bottle (like your hand-sanitiser), lotion bottle (that outputs out a small, tiny blob), I am officially calling for ideas more useful than mine.
In the end, I settled for an espresso-sized cup that I would mix directly in, adequate to hold the resulting 50ml+ of lube, and shallow enough for the applicator to reach its bottom. Heck, I even used the applicator as a stirrer to skip washing that one spoon.
As a result, I have (unintentionally) imposed on myself to make frequent, fresh batches of lube, along with whatever Redman essence/ flavours I have lying around my kitchen. Improv for the win!
Apologies for the lack of more detailed photos. Kindly refer to Google for more images.
At first glance (if I hadn’t bought this myself), I wouldn’t know what to make out of this. Packed in the form of a thick DVD case, I was pleasantly surprised to see Gundam-parts type of plastic mesh holding the toy safely in the centre. I broke that futuristic toy out and found myself gloating at ‘her’ discrete appearance.
Shaped like the car from ‘i, Robot’, two circular dials at one end (two sides) control the pressure which she would go down on you. On the other end, a rounded cover hide the intricately-designed lips that looked everything human except for that unnatural, light-beige colour.
I then pried her wider apart to spot a tongue, a little too stiff to be realistic, but that bumpy, ribbed texture above her upper ‘jaw’ did remind me of some textbook illustrations. For the next the next few minutes, I experimented on the two moveable ‘upper’ and ‘lower’ panels on the exterior case.
So those two panels, gave me a permutation of four. I have the option to; put more pressure at the front of her mouth, at the back, and two illogical, front-back layouts I couldn’t make sense of. Either way, I know I am free to explore more once I get into the bath.
For once, I was eager to take a shower, where she would be broken into for the first time. I gave her a quick rinse, poured some soap into her mouth, spread those foam around with my fingers, and popped her over ‘who’ I bought her for.
As much as I would like to say ‘perfect’ on the first try, there were variations I could fiddle with. I used those dials to tone down her suction, and switched those upper-lower panels for more stimulation near her opening.
That combi totally worked out for me and I came to the interestingly-different kind of slurping noise caused by the vacuum. Lastly, tired me twisted the two dials off and ran tap water into her lips to gush my bodily fluids through the two smaller holes.
While some girls dislike their men using sex toys (as if they weren’t good or pleasing them enough), I would like to think of it as ‘fixing our own urges’. I had initially purchased this because my ex didn’t like giving blowjobs, so I got this to get that aspect fulfilled.
Like all new(er) reviews, here are the PROs and CONs.
PROs: Made of damn high quality material. Silicon is durable, magnets (to hold mouth in place) is strong. Smooth edges on plastic, no signs of bumpy ridges where pieces connect. Every nook and cranny is exposed to fresh air when all covers are open.
CONs: Brief hours of susceptibility when air-drying product. Exposed fair complexion might attract unwanted attention. To prepare product for long periods of storage, a troublesome process to coat silicon ‘flesh’ in baby powder is highly recommended (like any silicon product).
Will I buy it again? Nope.
Will I use it again? Sooner than you think!
HAIR LOSS, is a mysterious, touchy, and probably-widespread occurrence that most people don’t know how to start fixing. As a man (or boy in some of your eyes), I am a ‘victim’ of such a condition, but have tried some remedies which one proved effective!
DISCLAIMER! I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL, THIS IS NOT PROFESSIONAL ADVICE. THIS IS NOT AN ADVERTISEMENT. THIS IS NOT SUPPORTED BY ANY SCIENTIFIC KNOWLEDGE. THIS IS PURELY MY EXPERIENCE IN THE (PROLONGED) USE OF ALL PRODUCTS MENTIONED IN THIS ARTICLE.
To start things off, I will provide some background information, in particular my diet, and phases I have been through that might/ might not have any effect on my hair.
I eat a lot of instant noodles, like close to 1 (individual) packet every two days or more. For a period of my life, it makes up 1 meal of a normal day, but never more than that. MSG-free and not, dry and soup, but nothing spicy since I have a sensitive stomach.
Genetics is a main suspect in my case as seen on my dad, whom has a ‘birdnest’ look once he reaches his 50s. Like him, when I was younger, I had a head full of thick, luscious hair, but it didn’t last into my late 20s.
My daily routine consists of work, which didn’t require me to wear a cap (or any headdress). The only time that happened didn’t last more than 6 months.
Shampoo (and its brands) was a tricky subject to me. I disliked anything minty (since it tickles my scalp), and have tried soap bars, liquid shampoo, to no avail or any significant effects on my hair loss problem.
Hair wash routine. I used to wash my hair once every two days, then once daily during the period I swam (daily). I don’t wash my hair at night, no matter if I perspired.
Hair loss specific products. The only, specialised one I have ever tried was your so-called ‘Hair Tonic’. It comes in a black/ brown bottle with a stray attachment. The same brand can cost between $160 to $250, which actually isn’t an issue as long as it could fix my problem, but it didn’t.
After stating the above points, I will bring you to one more pre-remedy which might have helped lay the foundation to my ‘recovery’.
Selsun by Mentholatum
The above brand and make was recommended by my hairdresser, who was very helpful in suggesting methods and products that might help my condition. That particular product cleanses sebum that have been clogging my (hair) pores, which in turn might have obstructed any growth. According to hairdresser, any pores that no longer have hair in them, will never produce any more (new) hair, so I was literally left with what I have, plus dire hopes for an effective/ ultimate solution.
After more (sloppy) research online, I jumped on the first brand that popped up (as shown below). Since I technically had nothing better to try, I bought a bottle and used it daily.
C1 Caffeine Shampoo by Alpecin
I am going to skip all the technicalities about the said caffeine shampoo since we are more interested in whether it worked, so I will leave that knowledge for you guys to research.
The turning point came about one (empty) bottle into the use of it, when I had a haircut. My hairdresser claimed that my hair loss was less obvious, though I was pretty sceptical about his comment. But that said, there was one symptom that was very obvious to me;
Less hairfall during my morning showers/ shampoo.
As I showered in the dark (without lights on), I mostly made that conjecture from how little hair I could feel on(or have to rinse off) my fingers when I shampooed. Note that I have no visual cues, nor was I able to measure the results scientifically.
Three (total) bottles into that same brand of shampoo, I had unconsciously stopped paying any attention to the thinning spot on my head. Or rather, it no longer attracted my attention. Even my hairdresser complimented on it, though he still reminds me of the supposed, intended audience of the brand – which are of American/ European/ German region, whatever that meant.
Again, whatever that meant, it worked for me. Though it might not be a one-solution-for-all, this can be a possible fix for the many of us out there who is grasping for any effective ‘cure’. I receive no sponsorship of any kind for this post, but this topic is definitely way bigger than any kind of rewards for spreading word of that product.
Is there any downside? Well, the only requirement for that shampoo to work is for its user to leave it on for at least 3 minutes, or in my impatient case, as long as it takes for the minty tingle to set in before I rinse it off. Just to clarify, that ‘minty tingle’ is solely for the product to tell you that it has been absorbed. It is not a menthol/ spearmint ‘flavour’ to refresh your scalp.
As usual, if you have any doubts, consult your doctor or a specialist. Don’t take my word for it if you have known allergies, or taking medicine that causes hair-loss as a side effect. State in the name of the product, it contains caffeine, so that’s one more thing to be aware of.
Side note: I am still on my third bottle, having bought a fourth one in confidence. Oily and wet hair still exposes some of my scalp, but that would apply to anyone with a healthy head of hair too.
