Okay, so how many of you have a porn video playing right now? Don’t lie. I know there is one person out there at it. Pornography has been part of our lives ever since the first couple decided to film their intimate moments and show it to all. And after that, a multi-billion industry was born, spanning across every imaginable fetishes and requests, meeting demands in every area normal, consensual, intimate sex has missed.
While I am sure some of you, or us, are aware of the harm, there is little benefit to stop watching. Apart from most videos being free, more premium ones can be torrented. Yet, they remain as big and unmovable behind the supporting industries.
Now, before I compare cigarettes to pornography, we all know the detrimental effects of watching it. Be it a lot or rarely, our perception of sex has been shaped by mere pop-up ads that we bump into against our wishes.
4. You seek to be the ‘Man’.
At a subconscious level, we yearn to be the male lead in every porno flick. Some might want to be as big as he is, some might want the six pack abs, some might want to be fucking the pornstars he did, and some just want the same humongous load he release towards the end. Sure, we all can wish to be someone we aren’t, cause at the end of the day, we aren’t – or can we?
I am not going to guess how many of you will exercise to get the ribbed abs, but for ‘size’, there are countless apparatus to exercise our manhood in. From BathMate, or those skeletal extender, to magic oils that will ‘open up vessels to let more blood in.. yada yada’. Sounds convenient eh? What you are doing to your man part is reckless, and when you can’t walk or eat on your own anymore, you would still be happy to know your dick is still waking up before you.
Viagra is NOT made to solve stamina issues. The usual duration for a healthy male to cum is 8 minutes, or 10 if you are healthier, and 14? if you are healthiest. To last beyond twenty minutes of intense pounding signify you have an erection problem, and the only winner in this case would be your girl climaxing non-stop.
Size doesn’t matter when you are in a relationship (except for FWB), nor stamina. She is with you for who you are, not who you wish you are.
As for the ladies, I’ll just shamelessly state that no females desire to be ‘Her’ in the poro video. Period.
3. You try to make her, Her (as in the pornstar).
When the girl in the video gag on an unusually large cock, she is suffering. Erotic asphyxiation brings about unknown levels of hurt and despair, and not meant for the general population. The various tools used on her is part of a script, and the driving force is money, NOT love.
If you have spoken to your partner about trying new stuff, then go ahead, keep within the discussed rules. Rape play, never, ever happened when your partner is unaware, unless you are into court play too. Pain, while it can bring your sex to the next level, are always treated with outmost care because of the emotional damage it can cause.
Bottomline is, your partner is not a porn star. She stayed clean for you, she stayed open to you, not so you can abuse her. If there is something you want to try, talk it out. If she says no, then no. Stop watching that particular video and put that fetish on hold. She is going to be with you for other reasons, and living out your fetishes ain’t one of them. In time, when things get mundane on the bed, try bringing it up again.
Just remember not to expect or be disappointed that your partner is not as good as your favourite pornstar. You wouldn’t be loving her as much as you fuck her if she was one.
As for the ladies.. I’m sure none of them is looking for a male pornstar to be their significant other. If not, are you one?
2. You get caught in a loop.
Once you finish a video, you’ll move on to the next, unless you came. But that’s not the ‘loop’ I’m talking about. It’s the addiction. Only a handful (like me) browses porn when I am bored, but for most of the times, it’s when you are horny. Any time before that, it would be a pre-screening of materials for needy times, and that isn’t counted.
When one doesn’t get the sex they want, they refer to porn to get themselves off. When they keep their minds drained of the required energy to think straight, they fall back onto their source of energy – porn. Desires get met momentarily when they ‘live’ out their fantasies through another guy’s point of view, and the same desire/ fetish will get stronger.
Believe it or not, that particular fetish you are into, there are thousands of titles related to it. You can effectively live out the rest of your life watching them if you don’t fast forward. To start living, more specifically, to start looking for someone to spend the rest of your lives with, you need to have energy. Once you are addicted to imagining yourself as a pornstar, you will only find it harder to be yourself.
That is the time when your normal life, fades further away from your dark side, or vice versa. People always claim to have a dangerous side to them, because of the desires that built up over the years. ‘I want to try this once in my life’, is the most commonly used excuse to introduce a new type of sex. Simply because the women in the video portrays the ecstatic look when doing it!
Break the cycle and you will find time you never had before. Don’t tell me people browse 9Gag before 9Gag was invented. What do people do? They cook, they run, they sleep, they collect stamps. To have something worth talking about! That is what keeps conversations going!
Watch less if you can’t stop at once. And start embracing the normal form of sex. One that involves kissing, touching, talking. Am I the only one who can indefinitely enjoy my partner’s hand on my cock? It feels damn arousing and uplifting! At the same time, extending our sexy time to over an hour.
1. Your perception of the opposite sex, changes.
Nudity was once seen as beautiful. Jack drawing Rose’s body, Adam standing carefree with the naked Eve. Was it sexy? It became sexy if sex happens after. Young girls suddenly embrace the idea of using their bodies to attract men, in hopes to find ‘true love’. It seems logical at first, to get a guy’s attention, then to develop a bond with him. But when your crop top reveals a bit more above your belly, you are literally using your boobs. When your low-waist shorts is too low to hide your panty seams, you are effectively using your availability of a pussy.
Iconic pop stars started displaying their wares without even trying to cover up then enforces the idea that using your body to get attention is normal. How many of your yoga pants have never been to yoga? There are some clothes classified as comfortable, and there are some under the ‘attract attention’ category.
You feel more comfortable wearing less clothes? Tell me about it. Men are feasting their eyes on minds that have their beliefs in the wrong places, enjoying the loose concept of ‘attractive’ with their little heads. Which guy would complain when you tease them with your dangerously short dress that gives them glimpses of your panties?
‘Fuck me’, is all I can see when I stroll along Bugis Street. It’s like a dare, that is only prevented due to governing laws. Our perception of ‘attention’ is no longer like in the past, where chemistry and deep understanding bonds two person. While there are more people out there redefining their stand on ‘attraction’, there are far too many who haven’t noticed the intention of the men that laid eyes on them, even for a brief moment.
Looks matter, that’s for sure. But that won’t be the only thing keeping couples together for decades to come. If you fall for someone who knows how to flaunt their bodies, I actually have no idea what will happen to you guys.
Women are special in their own ways. Their minds do not register appeal like how men distract themselves with girls in hot pants. It is a good thing that the ladies will naturally seek a stable, well-footed mind to fall in love with. But there are still too many girls falling prey to guys who sweet talk them into a relationship that is held together by ‘image’.
Digest that today.