Most guys dream of having a wife they can love, a fling they can find their sexual relieve in, plus maybe a soulmate they can talk to about the other two women. What a perfect life right? And the only thing we need to do is to keep the three women apart. Right. Just keep fantasising.
From life experience and repetitive writing from a women’s point of view, it is actually the women who are making themselves scarce in the ‘casual sex’ realm. While we always blame it on men that took advantage of them by being sticky, dependent, using them as cum dump, there are actually other reasons why women can’t take the ‘leap’.
3. Psychological fears
This point is a dead giveaway if any females had any male friends. Among their group of male friends, minorities helped built the fears in them. Some see her as a potential sex partner, some just want to show off by being with her, some wants to marry her (before she knows them well), some wants her exclusivity being friends.
Then there are about two who are there at her saddest, weakest, worst times, and there are about one who is there to listen to her ranting. So that’s about it. It’s not ‘which guy you are’ that puts you in a good or bad light. Don’t worry about that. It’s in fact the other 98% that makes you one of them.
For that one friend, you are her soul mate. But to other female friends whom doesn’t know you well, you belong to the 98% trying to get in her pants. Logically, a human can become friends with another by being friendly and shit. Now, everyone is ‘friendly and shit’. You have to prove ‘more than friendly and shit’ to her to even be just friends.
When two girls know you, what are the chances you are in the 98%? The more girls know you, the narrower the ‘white space’ will be. Looking back at how I put it, it would mean that while I want to be A’s friend, I want to fuck B. Great job there Jhae. So much for trying to make men feel better.
2. Stigma/ Judgement/ Critisim
‘Are you sure you are a female?’, ‘You just want an ONS or be flings?’, ‘You just want sex and nothing else?’. Those questions are common when a girl asks for sex. Five out of ten will question her gender, nine out of ten will question her true agenda, and ten out of ten will question her health status.
While you may find yourself in all three categories (can we really blame ourselves?), one out of twenty will politely turn her ‘down’. And the one who turned her down won’t get any. So, what. the. fuck. does. she. want?!
Well, she has already thought about those long before you asked. After so much thinking, she decided she wants a one-off casual sex to see how things go, and everyone except you (but she never knew your existence) starts to doubt her openness. Heck, I bet even if the sex is bad, but you are awesome as a bedroom partner, she would meet you just to spend time!
To be suspected as a male, psychotic nymphomanic, scheming bitch, how could she still be in the mood? How can she decide to be ONS or long term fling when she haven’t even met you? So, while you are the zero out of ten person to touch her heart, she is probably worn out/ irritated/ discouraged by the rest to do anything – besides turning you down.
1. To do or not to do.
How often do you feel tempted to give another guy a handjob to get an equally skilled handjob done on you? I hope your answer is never. But to be truthful, I HAVE had that thought before.
It’s innate in us to seek comfort in another being, be it physically or emotionally, there is someone out there who can make up for my inadequacy. Sex, for one, is an aspect where it feels better to have someone do it to you. And that comes after you have built the chemistry, common understanding, bond, relationship, whatever. Even if you are just flings, the only connection being your genitals, ‘friendship’ is the category you tick against when anyone asks you about you two.
Before we open ourselves up to others, we doubt. Man, we even doubt our ability to open up to others. But let’s focus on the more important discussion here. Disappointment.
(For the ladies, and men to read) You first find someone at the friendship level, to understand their intention of being friends. Then, you spend time with him to see if there is anything he is hiding from you. Hopefully he will accidentally reveal it or truthfully admit it. Then, walking side by side under the bridge, the first kiss happens.
Friends, then sex. The connection is obvious. A fling! I’m sure you both have found the time to discuss after the first intimate act (not necessarily sex). But how do you (girls) find the right one without worrying? Are there any chances he wants you to be his girlfriend? Or does he simply want to add you to the ‘collection of girls he fucked’? Or is he fucking other girls outside (STD risk)?
The man she find must pass her psychological, emotional and spiritual tests. And even if he passed, the possibilities of what ‘future’ holds would frighten her a bit too. While men can simply cap-on-and-fuck, women are more than aware that you are reaching into more than their pussies.
That guy better don’t fuck it up by asking me to be his wife. When all I need is a dick to thrust (or trust?). Just don’t make me do the get-to-know-you-and-your-fetishes part all over again.
That selection process takes a lot of energy, and the best outcome would be for a man to pump all that energy back in vigorous movements. Let’s face it, there is no winner when she fails to find her fling.
So, stop fucking it up. The ladies have enough emotional baggage to carry. And please don’t be the one and following asshole;
The sticky shit that hits the fan and doesn’t let go.
Remember this, a guy has to search and find and seek and plan to get a fling. A lady just need to poke at the first male friend in her contact list, and type ‘can you be discreet if I had sex with you?’ to get sex. Sure, she can scroll down real fast and hit any random names (male). And still get her relief.
To get doubts cleared out with him or her, there are other questions you can ask to get the same answer. Be it health, intentions, duration of fling, there IS no harm to be polite and find out if your objectives meet. After all, first impressions do count, and they might go further than the shameful few seconds you lasted inside her.
While it is not easy to find a fling, it is definitely way easier to enforce why women shouldn’t trust men. So, does Jhae have a fling? *wink wink*