While men are always seen on social media for flings and friends with benefits, few understand how to carry a conversation besides stating their main intentions. Sure, your figure might play a part, and perhaps the number of blue notes at your disposal might up your chance, but what if you can NOT screw it up before she is convinced?
As many topics as you can talk about under the sun, there is a tendency for the whole conversation to slant (one-sided) towards what men thinks women are weakest at – emotions. Well, here is a gentle reminder. They (the ladies) know and understand emotions better than us (men). So do not try to guilt-trip or use sweet-nothings to convince them. There is a high chance it will backfire or even be used on you.
You two merely spoke on the web (no matter for how long). There is no way she will believe ‘exclusivity’ or ‘promises’ especially when you are on a ‘hunt’. While she could be looking for a fling (lucky you), she does not need to promise you anything. Either that or be careful if she promised you everything before you even met her, she might be after something else.
It is rare for someone to keep their promises, let alone strangers whom have only seen photos of each other. Of all people, women are very skeptical when it comes to making promises. Make them too easily, and you’re untrustworthy. It makes you seem desperate just to get under their skirts. Fun fact! There is no drawback to NOT making promises. No one is getting married here.
Something very close to promises is sweet-nothings. Another word for this is ‘overconfident’. Words like ‘I’m going to take care of you’, ‘I’ll make you happy’, ‘you won’t be disappointed if we meet’ will result in YOUR demise. Are you fucking hinting them that they can’t make themselves happy? Or they will be disappointed if they don’t meet you? For goodness sake, they probably are less disappointed if they don’t meet you.
Going back to some points I have covered before, you do NOT have the biggest dicks, NOR the most active tongue, or even the most flexible fingers. Bullshitting your way to their hearts are completely immature, for you do not know how their bodies work. It isn’t just a dick-thrusting-pussy method to make any girls happy.
Just don’t appear like you have been pleasing women for your past half of your life, cause they don’t get impressed by what they haven’t felt yet. You have a better chance if you pay more attention to her needs (which is usually very specific).
Finish this para before you judge. She is NOT looking for someone to make her happy. She is NOT looking for someone to take care of her. She is DEFINITELY NOT looking for someone NOT to disappoint her.
She is looking to take care of herself by making herself (sexually) happy.
2. Emotional-play/ Guilt
While flings seem fun to both males and females, there is usually a lot of chatting/ talking done to understand the levels of detachment (a.k.a respect) and if any chemistry existed.
Fun – is the common driving force. Read and remember that well. No one should feel bad or guilty about looking for a fling. So if you ever said something along the line of ‘I thought we were going to meet’, ‘why didn’t you tell me you don’t want to meet anymore’, ‘I didn’t expect to just sit and chill’, then you pretty much screwed yourself.
When she is ready to get physically intimate, she will. You have no idea how much turmoil the ladies have to go through just for a meet up, let alone touching someone at their most private areas. AS SOON AS she feels bad NOT meeting you, NOT doing anything to you, NOT being your one and only, she WILL leave you. 100%.
Real men puts themselves in their women’s shoes at all times. You are suppose to help her clear her doubts, feel at ease, and be comfortable with you. Doing anything rash outside the above points will greatly reduce her chance of meeting you (again), and it will carve a deep, negative impression of the general male population.
Constant communication, carefully crafted questions, respectful probings, will get her to open up. Even if don’t know any details about her, pay attention to her language, her frequency of replies (if she is busy), while understanding her emotional needs. There IS a huge difference between sexual relief and excitement.
Relieves usually comes in the form of psychological void/ need, while excitement is a one-off thrill. From experience (of my own), excitement usually brings more self-doubts (about the whole fling thing) and a good partner can identify the deeper psychological void through little or no physical intimacy.
1. Urgency/ Rash/ Haste/ Impatience
While most men have problems containing the above emotions, the ladies are free to take their time to choose. In times of rash, shitty words are a common occurrence, good suggestions are phrased wrongly, and point number 2, guilt, surfaces under pressure.
Guys will understand that they are casting a big net in the pleasure ocean. We all have looked at least once in our lives (maybe not this life).
MEN, will take good care (exercise respect and professionalism) of the handful that replied, no matter if they are interested in flings. Time, along with communication, holds the key to change someone’s mind, and every sentences are given extra thoughts before expression. These group of males know better to keep quiet than blabber nonsense in times of uncertainty.
BOYS, however, will hold the necks of the handful that replied, fearing their escape or temptation for a better ‘fisherman’. Such males conduct interest checks like an interview, and leave the girls feeling lost as soon as they are not keen (or taken). They unknowingly cut down the number of females in their contacts until there’s none left, then they cast another net.
Which group do you belong to? Even if you claimed to be the first, the laws of nature wouldn’t let you behave that way (no matter how much you learnt from this article). Age and experience ARE important factors, that no amount of education can bring. I know I didn’t phrase this paragraph well, but you guys get my idea. The reason why women feel like sex toys is because of boys, who jump into the deep pools before they are ready.
Even though we all know that ‘females are more wary’ in this topic at this era, there will always be some men who stands out above the rest, bringing their catch home one after another. Please understand that I AM still very much against the emotional hurt that comes along when a fling/ FWB relationship ends, but there are a few men who can think for their ladies, having their mutually-agreed exit plan laid out for future use.
While you guys struggle to hold onto the couple of ladies that responded to your search for a fling, how about taking things a step slower? If a girl is NOT looking, no amount of convincing will move her heart (unless you ARE that skilled). If a girl IS looking, approach in a way that doesn’t scare them or make them feel any discomfort. IF you are looking, what separates a man from boys is how you express your needs.
For humanity’s sake, enough of the non-stop posts (everywhere!) that you are looking for a fling. No girl is going to jump into your arms unless you are offering cash (explaining your only use to her). A good body, if without a great mind, is as good as a sex toy. A great mind, without a great body, is good for sex and friendship. A great mind, with a good body, is best to marry in terms of genes and chemistry.
I hope the what I covered in this article will help increase chances, and I want to thank you for reading to the end. Those who judged the whole entry by its title do not deserve to get their flings, but you guys do.
Next Wednesday, I will cover a similar topic, but for the ladies. Now, it’s your move.