1 Rule to Live By

Men and women alike, no matter how young or old, sex is a part of our lives. Some might have lost it at a young age, and some have yet found the right person to give it to. Most of us have encountered pornography before, or very very tempting erotica that depicts losing virginity in the most sensual ways.

This article has only one part, and I strongly feel that this is good enough to be considered a rule whenever sex happens. Not only this rule will put all parties’ minds at ease, it will also increase frequency of sex, boost bedroom intensity, and gives everyone a sense of security.

1. Condoms

When you are doing it for the first time, you want to ‘feel’. The desire to be taken or take is so strong that you will want to do it raw. To some, the thin condom is ‘ahead’ of you if you put one on. You want to be the first inside her, and not a condom. Fuck you.

If you are facing a hard dick, there is likely pre-cum at the tip, or smeared all over that you can’t see with naked eyes. Why do we call it pre-cum if there is no cum in it? Well, sex fact 101, there IS semen in pre-cum.

Do you want your first time to be filled with regrets? Or your first time to be your last in the next 9 months? Even if pregnancy is avoided, the two weeks you need to live in fear will take all your energy to cope.

The wonderful invention of condoms has benefits unparalleled to the loss of ‘intimacy’, ‘feel’, ‘pleasure’, and all other reasons you can try to bring up. As a guy, I think guys are responsible whenever sex happens, and it is also our job to ensure we get what we want, and nothing more out of it.

Having passionate, raw sex sounds great. He pulled out in time and you watched him unload it onto a tissue. Heck, you even caught it all in your hand to make sure nothing gets anywhere else. But are you sure?

1.1 Before

Before a condom is put on, make sure there is no lube or too much liquid on the cock. The last thing you want happen would be for the condom you (willingly and wholeheartedly wanted it on) to slip out inside her. ‘Cleaning your rod’ is a good excuse to get a little more head before you cap on, and make sure it stays airtight once it’s done.

Remember what I said about pre-cum containing cum? If your girl’s hand is wet from all the lubes and saliva from the handjob, don’t let her touch the exterior of the condom. There is no point if you cover your rubber in cum while most of your semen is trapped under. Let her wash her hands, or wipe it as thoroughly as she can before you die die want her to wear it for you.

Else, be a man and suit yourself up.

1.2 During

As frequent as you can, look for the rubber band holding the condom at the base. A glimpse of it will do. Make sure it’s in place, make sure it’s at the base. Don’t ignore the slight gap if it slips, a little is all it takes to create new life.

Whenever the condom moves too much beyond adjustments, put a new one on. If you feel any bit suspicious or unsure (even 1%), stop and fix it. Check when you two change positions, use ‘checks’ to take a break so you can last longer.

1.3 After

After you have filled the reservoir with your cum, take it out of her and don’t just go for the second round in it. If you have ever played with water balloons, you will know how the cum can get pushed out under your shaft, and you can continue to make your promise to take care of her forever.

Pull it out, take it off, and tie a knot. Wear a new one if you are going to continue! If you have reached your limits, and want to play with your load, please make sure you have towels or wipes around you. Visually see where the cum you poured on her flow, or just lie in bed for a rest.

Her hands can touch your dick again, and you are free to massage her sore spot after you cleaned up.


Yes, science has provided a lot of information about the survival of semen outside the human body. Temperature, nutrient fluids, liveable conditions, safety period, all have numbers to them. But can science explain how nature will evolve or has evolved to keep life going?

According to condoms manufacturers, 99% chance is based on putting a condom on without any body contact and then sex and then removal without any contact again. Surely, 1% doesn’t mean you get her pregnant at the hundredth time you had sex. 1% also doesn’t refer to the thousands of sperms that aren’t killed that can break through the condoms.

But the 1% exists to tell us, to be responsible and careful about the wonderful acts of sex. Let’s not forget about the protection from STDs too. To have one when you don’t need one is better than not having one when you need one. After that phrase, it’s up to you to make full use of the ‘one’ to get more ‘ones’.

3 Ways to Start Her Engine

We men know ourselves better than to have erections at random times. While some of us are lucky to be in relationships where the girl wants more, there are occasions the girl doesn’t want any. Besides emotional disasters that keeps her dry, there are still a few tips to improve her libido if you two are on normal-to-good terms. No German sex drops or Spanish Fly tips here, I don’t endorse the use of those ‘magic’ water.

Before you crack your knuckles, recall the sex lives between you two. Has she always been conservative from the start? Or did something happen that puts a barrier between her and pleasure? If it is religion or celibacy that stops her from getting intimate with you, respect her decision. It is always BEST not to do anything in times of doubts.

Beyond that, it could be stress or or simply not ready to explore. For both situations, there ARE gentlemanly ways to break her in. Whatever I’m going to share below will require you to be at a certain stage of your relationship, in specific you, having permission to access anywhere below her waist.

3. Knowledge

Apart from watching porn and having experience, it is critical for you to talk to her at her level. Don’t go ‘my ex and I do this before’ unless you are hinting that she should ex you. Start by telling her what you are going to do, exploring the spot where you hurt her the last time, or the spot where she asked you not to touch. That could be where she is most sensitive and it might well be your ticket.

Prompt her with questions that you don’t need answers for. Ask as you probe around, running your fingers along every flaps. She might be dry at first, but repeat those moves until she starts to relax. Ask her to guide you to where she usually touch (during masturbation) or where it feels really good.

Replicate her moves like her own masturbation and show her that having someone to do the same thing actually feels very different. Communication will open her up to share what or where makes her wet. You’ll be a kinder, more considerate guy after that!

2. Dirty talks

This can be done in a few ways, judging by her exposure to pornography, fetishes, past experience. And for those with girlfriends who know nothing about self-pleasure, let her know that you are more keen to teach her than to get something in return.

If she allows you to touch her (below the waist), you have gained her trust. Don’t disappoint her and take your time to explain where is what. A simple mind is what you fell in love with, and trust me, every girl, no matter how experienced or slutty, wants to feel it like her first all the time.

Rediscover her every time you two get naked. Stop trying to stick your fingers in as soon as she’s wet! Ask her for permission, or tease her till she pushes you in. If she had gone down on you, it’s your duty to go down on her. Don’t tell me why she can do it but you can’t.

Use role play to limit the intensity of progress. Like ‘teacher’ to specifically teach and show her the magic, or ‘doctor’ to massage her for some stress relieve. ‘Daddy’ for more cuddles than sex, and ‘master’ for quick and dirty sex.

If she has an ex you know you can’t match, ask her to call you by his name. You’d rather she use a different name than to do a different guy with that name.

1. Compliments

By that, I mean that guys should stop pretending that they don’t want it in front of their partners. You’re not a pussy in her eyes, and has a dick that is interested in her. Whenever you get hard missing the things you do (with her), tell her. Don’t expect her to sext with you, but let her know you think about her with both heads.

When you see her dress up or changes clothes, spend some time to notice her lingerie. Grannies are unsightly but comfy, and you should be glad she’s comfy showing them to you. After going through so much to be together, the ‘impressive’ stage should be over and gone into ‘acceptance’ mode.

She shouldn’t need to wear anything that kills her own mood, the only loser in that case would be you. Nakedness should be what you two enjoy most, and the occasional sexy wear is to make her feel sexy before she meets you.

Be excited when she gets naked for you, cause it’s better than ‘see no touch’. Compliment her clothes and tell her to keep those on so you can see her in them for a bit more. Take off those clothes yourself so she can imagine you doing that for her when she’s getting dressed/ undressed alone.

Appreciation always make everyone feel good and you shouldn’t be doing any lesser for your loved ones. Take good care of her and she will do the same to you. Be a man and be able to handle her ‘lesser love’ than you give her. Nothing ruins a nice relationship more than doing favours after favours. Be selfless guys!

Rounds after Rounds, Fact or Fiction?

There is something about guys going rounds after rounds in porn and even in some stories, but how possible is it? Surely it’s a Godsend if you do not get soft, but what does it take you to get up and going after you jizzed?

To start things off, there are two kinds of mode you can be in after ejaculating. One, shrinking till you are about 1.5 times your ‘sleeping’ length, the last bit of blood flowing slower back into your body. Two, you are still semi-erect from 7/10 satisfactory sex, or just being in the right mood (you could possibly be puzzled too).

Rarely, and I mean just twice or thrice in my entire sex life, have I ever put on another condom immediately and went again. Not only I might ‘shrink’ inside her, it might take a longer time to get to my previous hardness too (I call it ‘long but soft’). Not so sure about her mood then, but there is little I can do to quicken my erection process.

Sometimes, it’s not her face or look or actions that can’t make you harder any faster. Men in general, lose some steam once he comes. There is NO way he is 100% into you after freeing all those sperms, and he would appreciate a pause no matter how short it lasts. Ladies might find it a challenge to decipher what men are feeling at that point. ‘Can I touch it?’, ‘should I pounce on him and kiss?’, ‘I want to make him hard right now so we can do it all over again!’.

My most preferred chain of event is to have some time alone, while she kisses and snuggles up to me lovingly. She understands that it is really sensitive there and would let it get to whatever size it wants. Then, she can slide her head down to my belly and kiss it (or wipe it first), sucking on it with LITTLE tongue action.

Once it starts to grow again, she is free to gently stroke it till I say ‘Let’s do it again’. It might take ten full minutes, or two minutes. Just take things slow. If you are not the type that wants to put it in your mouth after he shoots, clean it up for him. Wet wipes or fingers, don’t try to peel his foreskin back if it went into hiding. Just hold it in your fingers/ hand, and shower him with patience.

I know it’s quite frustrating when he doesn’t get your message and ends it right there. But a blowjob always works (at least for me). Else, let him rest and you start playing with yourself. Once he decides to ‘help’ you, he pretty much made up his mind. You will be irresistible with those horny moans. Even if he doesn’t do it for pleasure, he would do it for you.

It IS possible for men to cum rounds after rounds, and with each shot, he will need more and more time to rest. Have snacks, watch a movie, nap, talk about what you love on bed, what you fantasy about, his sick fetish that you suspect to be a victim of, the guy who keeps asking you out. Don’t go back to doing your work once he cum and then only return to check if he is up and ready. As much as he loves being your lifetime protein shake supplier, he would definitely prefer to be an ox the cow keeps wanting more of (not saying anyone is a cow here!).

Rush and he will feel conscious about meeting your needs. A woman who knows how to please herself will put his man’s heart at ease. Cause he wouldn’t have to worry about you cheating on him because of his sexual inadequacy. You are not with your partner just for sex right?

Trial and error, to see what works best. I’m sure so many sessions have passed without any exploration after sex. Why not take things slower and see if you can decode his body? Both will stand to gain if you two found a trick to harden him.

Just don’t go ‘Metapod! Use Harden!’ on him, even if he is your cute Pikachu. Perhaps I can write the next entry for the guys to get your not-so-interested-in-sex ladies up for some fun.

2 Apps (over)Used

When it comes to productivity, efficiency is the top of my list. Energy is a precious resource like time, and complexity (which consumes time), is sometimes necessary to reduce hassle at later parts. To get around my (almost) daily routine to write, there are some apps I cannot do without, but will find an alternative if they do disappear (or disappoint).

Please note that I do most of my writing on iPad, but some apps are available for Android too.

2. WordPress

As many of you could have guessed, Phantacee.com is powered by WordPress. Compared to Blogger, Ghost (which was so tempting) and many other platforms, WP is can easily be one of the most complex tool if you are just starting out.

After the recent update disappointed me, this APP is now only used to check my site’s stats. But before it went wrong, I use their app heavily to publish my entries as soon as they are done. Skipping the use of Dropbox completely. The Android version is still good though.

1. iA Writer

To have your device crash is the worst fear of many. iA Writer is one app that backs up every word you type. It is truly an app designed for authors, without any intrusive grahics. Black texts on white background, there is no other way to write without distractions.

Cleverly linked to Dropbox (or local storage), I sync all my stories to be posted later (through my desktop). I can’t bold or italicise here, but my programming background taught me enough to implement codes around those important texts. Basic info like word/ character count are available on a tap, else, there is little difference between how you write on paper and on this app.

(There is a ‘focus’ mode that fades out the completed paragraphs, only keeping your current sentence in dark fonts. Another occasionally used feature).

0. Dropbox

Although not necessary to have for iA Writer, it is still a good idea to double check if my stories are correctly synced. In times without my physical inspirational thumbdrive, this app allows me to peep at (outdated) images and videos in really dire times. Please note that iA Writer do REQUIRE a DropBox account to push files into your online storage.


Writing on a computer has been really unproductive for me since I am someone who is easily distracted. I am somewhat grateful for Apple NOT to have multiple windows on their devices, focusing my attention on the current app I am using. As far as efficiency is concerned, I am planning to use an Android tablet for the still-functioning WP app, if not a Microsoft powered tablet to just write directly on my website.

Thinking back, I don’t even need the WordPress app since I don’t use it much huh? If you have an app to recommend, please do so as soon as you can. Cause everyone benefits from more stories! A better future is coming (I hope)!

3 Ways to get Inspired

For many writers, there are only one thing that plagues their passion for writing – Inspirations. Likewise, I do have my fair share of writer’s block and procrasination, a result of emptiness and void whenever I want something to work on.

There is a small difference between ‘writing when inspired’ and ‘inspired to write’. The former results in unpredictable updates, but achieves immensely close-to-heart articles. The latter is my preferred way to write, though the first method do appear once in a while. Not only I can be in control of when I write, I can eliminate long periods of inactivity due to the absence of sex (or its related activities).

Authors basically have their own ways to keep going, be it getting high or getting dead drunk, even going as far as writing when they are having sex. Remember the movie ‘Swordfish’? Where a hacker received a blowjob to attain a speed bump to ‘hack’ really fast? I can’t even think straight when if that ever happens, let alone typing eligibly.

3. Images/ Videos

Through visual means, storylines can stem from similar photos or videos that relate. As there are tons of selfies available, in every imaginable poses and genres, it is the confidence of the subjects that inspires. To wear that little for dinner, to wear that transparent to club, exposure of bras and panties seem to be the secondary visual cue to hint that the subjects are somewhat willing.

Videos might bring up a possible scenario that inspires writers to make it ‘more possible’ to happen, and then easily follow the intensity of the sex that happens.

Even people walking by can be classified under this form, and the only limitation is the ability to imagine out of the big box.

2. Experience (at high cost)

A lot of stories are based on true stories, if not a very very similar experience. To feel, and then to write, is one of the best way to express your collective emotions. It is one thing to be able to revisit the sex that just happened, and to have the drive to share it with the world.

To me, I think that it is easy for one to think ‘hey, I just got laid. Why am I resorting to writing stories for my sexual relief? There’s no need to. I’ll write when I don’t get any.’ True? While I am deeply connected to my partner while at it, it is totally different when I try to picture us as ‘them’ or ‘her’.

I guess if you are getting lots of sex, there won’t be any strength left for you to write (and relive all those experiences you had). Sometime, the urge to boast and broadcast about the awesome, sex-starved partner kicks in, but I know better to give her all your attention than to imagine other ways how the sex could turn out.

Besides ‘true stories’, there is another type very close to that. When we speak to a potential fling or lifelong partner, the conversations can get really comfortable. To a point that we fantasise about making love for our first date, frolicking on our second date in the park, or the possibility that you are actually into my body.

Exposure to people brings in that kind of inspirations and I must admit, it is always a pleasure to be inspired by the people you truly know. Names are changed for the reason that they will (hopefully) not know that they ARE the subjects in your stories.

1. Habit/ Routine

This last one, is how I write most of the stories that appears here. Apart from churning texts from the two above methods, this is the most reliable, and never-disappointing one. Just like a site admin, I get access to search data and trending topics that led you to my site. So now, I have knowledge of the fetishes in demand.

Next, to cultivate a habit to write, and for your mind to reach into the emptiness of space for ideas. For a start, I am no playboy who can get any pussies I want (sorry if it sounds degrading). I have to rely on my normal life and day job to gather ideas that I piece together each time I write.

I return to the one spot where it is quiet (to recall point 2), publicly accessible (for point 1) for the OLs, students, MILFs, etc. to pass by, and digest the ideas (including website stats, news) I collect over the days. Once the three sections (intro, body, conclusion) are ready, my fingers will get to work.

Once done, I will look at the red underlines for spelling, and then see if the sense of regret/ disappointment gets to me to delete the whole entry. There is no loss when I do that, for I know what I want to be published on my site.


There are unlimited ways to get inspired besides the three types I covered. And frankly speaking, I am not sure if those above will work for anyone else. For an empath like me, I see misery and desperation in pornography, and innocence and carefreeness in photos. So the only info I get from photos are dressing styles, if not the names of clothes that are getting popular.

But seriously, JAV are really really on top of the game with the huge numbers of movie worthy actors, and cute faces that should never appear in such light.

I believe that writing can inspire, and works the other way too. Creativity is the one thing I will be utterly sadden to see disappear in this already-under-happy country.

4 Cameras for your own Homemade AV

At times, we wish to immortalise the intimate moments with our loved ones, and it isn’t practical to hire a production company to make that 20 minutes plus clip with Red-Camera level gears. While the ‘permission to film’ has been cleared, it is now up to the convenience, portability and simplicity of film processing to make such an activity fun and sustainable.

Jhae has his own private collection, but during the course of making them, he had spent quite a bit on getting the gears right. Yupp. The whole jizz is to get the gears right, not just the right gears.

While Spielberg and Michael Bay has tons of camera knowledge, there are only two methods to ‘frame’ in consensual film making. First, it’s the type that I do NOT recommend at all. It’s the well-known ‘FPV – First Person View’. You do not have 99-axis camera stabilisers, you do not have aperture 0.8 lens, and you do not have surgical-grade hands.

Shaky videos that makes you regret, jerking motion that makes you giddy, face-no-face scenes that makes you wonder about your existence. Heck, you aren’t even tempted to watch them again. We are amateur film makers, and it’s time to admit that.

Second, called ‘FPOV – Fixed Point-of-View’ (with the Ohh). You go behind the camera for a few seconds, angle it right, and then start your foreplay. It cuts out the disturbing handshakes and wobbly scenes. Though it might not capture any up-close image for your medical research, it is definitely presentable and non-intrusive to watch over and over again.

While the two types of cinematography is still done to this date, it is the gears that determine the ease of doing them. So, without further ado, let’s look at our options.

4. DSLRs

C’mon, let’s face it. If you are using a video-enable DSLR, you will be spending more time framing it than getting it on with your partner. Not only you are limiting your locations to just ‘in bed’, it is actually quite unnerving to have that huge lens right in your face.

I highly doubt the guys will be shy (since they are holding it), but the ladies! No one can perform naturally in front of JAV-style equipments. They certainly do not intend to become your porn stars, making it way harder to get in the mood.

Besides that, storage space. In 4k resolution, are you seriously going to have a NAS storage system set up just to hold a few video clips? Don’t you find the huge, black piece of camera a bother to set up, and it irks your eyes? What about battery life? Shutter life? Please ditch this idea.

3. Mobile Phones

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While technology has been kind to us, the difference in quality from a mobile phone and a basic point-and-shoot still appeals to pixel enthusiasts. The ‘Ultra Wide Angle’ feature of your phone sounds awesome until you see cropped heads in your videos.

Not only it cannot stand on its own, your 100-people Whatsapp group chat IS going to shake your camera for you. Low light performance? Don’t tell me you are going to use the Sunlight-grade LED to ‘light up’ your night life. There’s no Meitu for videos.

One big concern is the battery life, which is even shorter than DSLR. Designed for calls and texting, the camera is only good for photos that you will apply heavy filters to. NOT videos!

Still, tons of people use their phones to record, and they have spent years refining their skills. If you want to use it, make sure you practice a lot. Don’t be the noob that is as confused as your phone when the time comes.

2. Point-and-Shoot (Compact cameras)

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This is probably the second best camera you can use for your sexy clips. Decent resolution, made for mediocre video and photo taking, it IS still my most used item in the bedroom. Both FPV and FPOV works with point-and-shoots, giving you ok quality at the end of the day.

Don’t you just love how you can take photos while banging? Luckily, there are high-end cameras in this size, with DSLR technologies in them. Invest in one today.

1. Action Cam!

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The latest introduction to my range of cameras (not just for erotic uses) is SJ4000 by SJCam. I bought it for under S$130, and it comes with underwater housing (bathtime!) and about 18 other add-ons. I have imported headmounts, lens protector, tripod mount adapters just for this camera.

The photo I took of the SJCam above is how I store it normally. No padded casing, no screen protectors (let’s just get past the dirty screen thingy). Just a lens protector, in a plastic, corner-frame, on a quick-release clip. I am currently waiting for a flat base mount/ adapter to put on my flexible tripod permanent.

Quality-wise, it’s like a vehicle dashcam, but ultra wide angle at 170 degrees. Video res can hit 1080FHD, but recommended to go for 720P. You’re not intending to play them on your living room screen right?

I know it looks like a pussy given it’s size and specs, but wait till you finish this whole paragraph. When I settled on SJCam, I want it to be portable and tiny. Small enough to get out of the way of my girl’s insecurities, but big enough to capture proper footage.

My main concern with storing such media is their file sizes. Camcorders, DSLRs, compact cameras, makes great videos, but I wouldn’t be able to store them easily without looking at external HDD. Then you’ll go ‘Jhae! You know you can select a lower resolution under ‘Settings’?’ right?

With a flexible tripod, I can mount it anywhere. With the underwater housing, who knows what we might do in the bathtub? I just don’t want it to be an eyesore. She shouldn’t be worried about how she looks on camera, I’m the person she should be focusing on!

The Wifi version I got allows me to frame the shot through my phone (via an app), effectively turning it into a ‘on-and-forget’ recorder in the corner. Heck, she even helped angled it while I gave instructions. Teehee!

The main objective of making your own videos is to reminisce your most intimate moment with her. Not to be troubled by screen sizes, resolution (lower is acceptable), or missed shots. I admire a person as a whole, to the point the kisses we had, the in-face whispering (probably inaudible), the minor movements she makes when I enter her, are what makes my film erotic.

Wide angle captures our full bodies, fat or slim. Decent pictures remind us of each other, looking shag or not. Honestly, the ladies DO get wet looking at their own sex clips, and they can easily convince themselves to put on your sick costumes for memory’s sake (in front of a small camera).


While hidden cameras exist, it is NEVER ethical to film anyone without their permission. Doing it with mutual consent undo the normal restraints we have on ourselves, letting the playful side appear for the short clip. She might make you groan louder, make you struggle harder, ride you faster – just for you.

Things do get more intense with a camera around, but do not try to do it secretly. Your weird angles and unusual actions will give you away. You wouldn’t want to know what’s the sentence in Women’s Charter against your crimes.

Also, if you cannot keep data secure in your computer, your girls have the rights to reject you upfront. Phones, cameras, portable storage medias, they do require a level of responsibility if you are keeping your nudes in them. Bottomline? Don’t risk it, not even you can handle the consequences if they end up in the wrong hands.

Feel free to ask me anything about the cameras I mentioned above! I have functioning film cameras, DSLRs, compacts, phones, but just one Action Cam. Well, they are named ‘ActionCam’ for a reason right?

3 Things (for the ladies) to Look Out for

Men are the happy-go-lucky creatures when it comes to sex. Easily seeding their love and then 1.Bring up their kids 2.Find another hole to seed. The ladies HAVE the rights to be informed of men, no matter how destructive this article is.

I have always believed that no matter how hopeless or impossible for you (the ladies) to fall in love again, there IS a guy out there who will change that mindset of yours. Sure, men are jerks, they are dicks, some have no brains even in two heads. You just need to find one that has brains in both. And when he appears, trust me, you can never wriggle your way out of that intense love he will shower on you.

So, what three things do I want you ladies to take note of?

3. Feel-Good Sensation.

You might have been hurt by tons of guys, have never gone into a relationship, or am looking for causal sex where two beings do ‘sports’ together. All that matters is – being happy. Cliche I know, but that happiness you feel will last a long time as soon as it fits you. At the very least, you won’t be hurt while with him.

A colleague once told me, ‘你要找一个你不舍得生气的人。’ In translation, ‘I have to find someone I can’t bear to get angry at.’

How meaningful is that? At times in a relationship, conflicts are bound to happen. You can;

  1. Keep quiet and compromise, burying that grudge forever.
  2. Discuss and take half a step back each.
  3. Take comfort in his/ her happiness and compromise.

Before all that beautiful shit can happen, it is key to find someone who doesn’t let you feel a single bit of unhappiness, and that applies to that potential fling talking to you. He might not have the tool to make you extremely happy, but he shouldn’t get in the way of your own happiness with all those emotional bullshit.

So how do you know if he is the one to be either your lifelong parter or fling? Being with him should empower you to do more. You might find yourself pushing a bit harder, working a bit longer, smiling more often, passing days faster, simply by knowing that he is in your life (and you want to see him soon).

In this current society, it is very unlikely to only have one breadwinner, which is kind of accepted by both genders now. Even having flings is no longer seen as only a ‘guy’s thing’. So, the least you could do for yourself is to find someone who doesn’t negatively affect your life. Believe me, it is an awesome feeling to feel that ‘on-your-toes’ sensation with him around.

This point applies to all short to long term relationships. If there are detrimental emotions between you two, then you might want to reconsider your relationship. The one person you don’t want to disappoint is yourself.

2. Secrets

Everyone has secrets. While some childhood abuse are traumatic, some find them erotic. A woman has her rights to keep secrets from her man, to protect his ego and uphold his pride. He shouldn’t be poking too much into your past if you DID hint (could be unconsciously), and understand that what you are holding from him is for his own good.

Moving away from marriage and BGR, let’s talk about flings. There are many levels you want to have causal sex at. Some are normal friendships turned into secret trysts, and some just want to keep things really clear cut – fuck-and-go. And of course, in betweens! He knows everything sexual about you, but nothing about you.

There are creepy men out there who are into emotional blackmail, though they never meant harm. They will surprise you with personal information you never told them, they will ask you about your family with accurate details, they will try to accompany you home no matter how many times you turn them down.

There will be a few that digs really deep into your sexual fantasies, to a point of discomfort. They want to know why are you so into daddy kinks, or domination, as if ‘to get a feel’ is not a good enough explanation. Only tell what you are fine with going public, only show what you are fine with going online.

While I am concerned with my public image, there are many out there with ‘nothing to lose’.

1. Detachment

You might want to be with a guy for sex, but there is a possibility that you aren’t the only girl he is fucking. While there are signs you can pick up, it is impossible to get to the bottom with some men who can keep secrets well.

Getting emotions into the picture is only natural, since you are connecting at the most intimate level. There is one thing I admire women for though, it’s their instincts. A woman’s instinct never goes wrong when it comes to everything. We men always imagine ‘instincts’ to be a ‘lie-detector’, but you ladies should have it figured out that it is more of a ‘truth-detector’.

Listen to your heart less closely if it’s casual sex, but trust your sixth sense. It is the only immediate defence when it comes to STDs, and there shouldn’t be any pressure to just get it on for his sake. If he is not meant to get into your panties, don’t let him. Remember not to disappoint yourself. (I’m not touching the cheating partner topic here)

Men need respect ladies a bit more, and with more ladies educating the men, we could see a fairer, more respectful, more considerate world soon. It will benefit everyone no matter for flings or marriage.


While Jhae tries to educate through these articles, it is up to the individuals to sober up and do something for humanity. The collective misery of the human race is too dire to ignore, and the world can easily be a better place when one less person feels bad.

We (men) can’t do without you (ladies), so as surprising as it may sound to have someone jerking off to your photos, I do respect you a lot. Take pride in being a figure of fantasy, take pride that someone out there is looking for you. As rewarding as flings might sound, give the men only what they deserve.

World Peace! ^_^v